1 00:00:49,922 --> 00:00:54,450 Supposing Queen Elizabeth had been misguided enough 2 00:00:54,527 --> 00:00:57,087 to marry an English commoner. 3 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:58,460 Janette? 4 00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:04,435 I'm sorry, Ms. Fox. I didn't quite hear. 5 00:01:04,503 --> 00:01:05,970 Obviously, you are immersed in problems 6 00:01:06,038 --> 00:01:08,871 of far greater significance than Elizabeth's foreign policy. 7 00:01:10,876 --> 00:01:11,968 But these mental... 8 00:01:12,044 --> 00:01:14,569 When I was a kid, I used to think there was a special place 9 00:01:14,647 --> 00:01:18,811 where all the movie stars lived. A kind of Shangri-la. 10 00:01:18,884 --> 00:01:23,548 And if you could just get inside there, you'd be happy. Forever. 11 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:33,821 All these years later, I'm finally inside. I've made it to Shangri-la. 12 00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:39,634 My name's Sidney Young. I'm a celebrity correspondent, 13 00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:42,299 a journalist, a friend to the stars. 14 00:01:43,309 --> 00:01:45,675 Yeah, that... That isn't me. 15 00:01:46,745 --> 00:01:50,237 This is me at the Apollo Film Awards in LA this year. 16 00:01:50,549 --> 00:01:53,245 That's my Armani tuxedo. 17 00:01:53,352 --> 00:01:56,651 That's an Omega Speedmaster Pro watch I'm wearing. 18 00:01:57,323 --> 00:01:59,518 That's the actress Sophie Maes. 19 00:01:59,592 --> 00:02:02,026 Last night, she told me she'd let me have sex with her 20 00:02:02,094 --> 00:02:04,221 if she won the Best Actress award. 21 00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:08,322 Oh! 22 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,925 She just won the Best Actress award. 23 00:02:19,545 --> 00:02:21,706 My life didn't used to be like this. 24 00:02:35,728 --> 00:02:38,356 Only a year ago, my alternative magazine, 25 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:41,558 the Post Modern Review, was on the ropes. 26 00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:47,731 I needed a big celebrity scoop to save me from bankruptcy and humiliation. 27 00:02:50,576 --> 00:02:52,601 But there was just one problem. 28 00:02:52,711 --> 00:02:57,045 To cross the thin red line that separates the looky-loos from the stars, 29 00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,880 you had to be famous. 30 00:03:00,386 --> 00:03:02,616 - Babe? - Babe 3. Yeah. 31 00:03:04,123 --> 00:03:07,718 - But he hasn't got any ID. - How many pigs are coming tonight? 32 00:03:08,928 --> 00:03:11,522 What do you want? Me to leave him here with you? 'Cause I can, that's fine. 33 00:03:11,597 --> 00:03:12,791 - I'll leave him here with you. - No, no, no. 34 00:03:12,865 --> 00:03:15,231 You cannot leave him here. I've got a... 35 00:03:17,436 --> 00:03:19,961 If you're positive you're supposed to. 36 00:03:22,274 --> 00:03:24,970 Well, well. Sidney Young. 37 00:03:26,779 --> 00:03:29,441 Well, well, clipboard Nazi-type woman. 38 00:03:30,616 --> 00:03:32,277 The pig doesn't get in. 39 00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:38,680 Plan B. If you couldn't crash the awards ceremonies, 40 00:03:38,757 --> 00:03:41,590 you had to get into one of the after-show parties. 41 00:03:42,828 --> 00:03:46,286 Of these, the most exclusive was the Sharps magazine party, 42 00:03:46,398 --> 00:03:49,299 hosted by legendary editor Clayton Harding. 43 00:03:50,803 --> 00:03:52,930 Here the A-list could finally relax, 44 00:03:53,005 --> 00:03:54,597 safe in the knowledge that no looky-loo 45 00:03:54,673 --> 00:03:56,197 would be desperate enough to book a room 46 00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:58,903 in one of London's most expensive hotels, 47 00:03:58,978 --> 00:04:00,912 just to get close to them. 48 00:04:03,449 --> 00:04:06,441 Okay, Britney, I want you in bed by 10:00, okay? 49 00:04:06,819 --> 00:04:08,252 And no porn. 50 00:04:26,705 --> 00:04:29,731 When I'm in LA, I like to stay at the Chateau. Where else? 51 00:04:30,976 --> 00:04:32,773 And then when I'm in London, I always like to stay here 52 00:04:32,845 --> 00:04:34,779 at the Haymarket. 'Cause, you know, 53 00:04:34,847 --> 00:04:35,973 I just got to the point now 54 00:04:36,048 --> 00:04:39,040 when I don't feel at home unless I'm in a hotel. 55 00:04:39,852 --> 00:04:42,844 - Do you know what I mean? - What is it that you do? 56 00:04:43,389 --> 00:04:46,017 I'm a writer. I'm a movie writer. 57 00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:47,217 Oh, great. 58 00:04:51,864 --> 00:04:54,332 Hello? Sir? 59 00:04:57,036 --> 00:04:58,901 Is everything all right? 60 00:05:22,828 --> 00:05:25,228 And it is weird that I should see you, 61 00:05:25,331 --> 00:05:27,663 'cause I was talking to the producer, like, last week, 62 00:05:27,733 --> 00:05:30,725 and I was saying, you know, Thandie Newton, lead role. 63 00:05:30,836 --> 00:05:32,269 - What do you reckon? - Yeah. 64 00:05:32,338 --> 00:05:33,635 I'm serious, yeah, 65 00:05:33,706 --> 00:05:37,233 because you have the intelligence and the beauty 66 00:05:37,343 --> 00:05:40,107 and the fragility that I think we're looking for. 67 00:05:42,047 --> 00:05:44,572 - What's the film? - It's called Tits of Fury. 68 00:05:50,723 --> 00:05:52,350 - You are too much. - I am, aren't I? 69 00:05:52,424 --> 00:05:53,857 I love it. 70 00:05:57,730 --> 00:06:00,198 - What's your name again? - It's... 71 00:06:00,265 --> 00:06:03,098 Clark. Clark Baxter. How do you do? 72 00:06:16,248 --> 00:06:18,944 What is that? It's disgusting! 73 00:06:22,788 --> 00:06:24,312 Oh, shit! 74 00:06:25,924 --> 00:06:28,620 Sarah, get security. Sidney Young got in. 75 00:06:28,727 --> 00:06:30,194 Who's Sidney Young? 76 00:06:31,897 --> 00:06:33,228 Oh, fuck! 77 00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:45,134 Plan C. Keep a low profile and leave as unobtrusively as possible. 78 00:07:14,373 --> 00:07:17,206 Why do you not see how this is ridiculous? 79 00:07:17,276 --> 00:07:21,508 It's a puerile and personal attack in alcoholic prose... 80 00:07:21,613 --> 00:07:23,171 Can you get that? 81 00:07:23,282 --> 00:07:26,080 ...you manage to misquote both Derrida and Lyotard. 82 00:07:26,151 --> 00:07:27,209 I'm sorry? 83 00:07:27,286 --> 00:07:29,083 Can you get the phone, please? 84 00:07:29,154 --> 00:07:32,123 My stupid... Your stupid fucking article! 85 00:07:32,191 --> 00:07:34,557 I wouldn't do you the honor of calling it a review. 86 00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:35,957 - I am... - A girl. 87 00:07:36,028 --> 00:07:38,588 ...an internationally respected academic and... 88 00:07:38,664 --> 00:07:40,097 - Prick. - What? 89 00:07:40,165 --> 00:07:41,462 You answer the phone. What do I pay you for? 90 00:07:41,533 --> 00:07:42,591 I am an author... 91 00:07:42,668 --> 00:07:45,501 - You don't pay me. - Answer the phone. 92 00:07:45,938 --> 00:07:47,735 ...in the history of culture. I am... A fuckwit! 93 00:07:47,806 --> 00:07:49,831 Hello. Post Modern Review. 94 00:07:49,942 --> 00:07:52,376 Sidney, if she doesn't apologize, I'm quitting. 95 00:07:52,444 --> 00:07:54,537 You're going to have to apologize, okay? George can't leave. 96 00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,807 - Why can't George leave? - Because he owns the fax machine. 97 00:07:56,882 --> 00:08:00,283 - That's why. What? - It's them. It's Sharps magazine. 98 00:08:00,352 --> 00:08:01,478 What are you gonna do about it then? 99 00:08:01,553 --> 00:08:03,248 Well, I will take them to... 100 00:08:03,322 --> 00:08:05,085 Names are ridiculous. I mean... 101 00:08:05,157 --> 00:08:07,523 - We're finished. - We're not finished. 102 00:08:07,626 --> 00:08:09,651 - If they sue, we're finished. - It's going to be all right. 103 00:08:09,728 --> 00:08:11,093 - Give me the phone. Shut up. - Dead. 104 00:08:11,163 --> 00:08:12,653 Be quiet! 105 00:08:14,199 --> 00:08:15,325 Sidney Young. 106 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,834 This is Clayton Harding, editor of Sharps magazine. 107 00:08:17,903 --> 00:08:20,963 - Lord Vader. - I saw you at my party, 108 00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:24,137 just before you ruined it with your little pig stunt. 109 00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:26,336 - You liked that, did you? - Sure. 110 00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,872 I especially liked the part where Clint Eastwood beat the shit out of you. 111 00:08:30,983 --> 00:08:32,780 Yeah, well, you listen to me, okay? 112 00:08:32,851 --> 00:08:34,341 I'm not scared of you, Harding, all right? 113 00:08:34,419 --> 00:08:36,284 You can sue if you like, but, you know, 114 00:08:36,355 --> 00:08:38,983 it's like Jimmy Stewart said, 115 00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:41,116 "All right. Yeah, you sit up there 116 00:08:41,193 --> 00:08:42,820 "and you spin your little webs, 117 00:08:42,895 --> 00:08:45,955 "and you think the whole world revolves around you and your money, 118 00:08:46,031 --> 00:08:48,056 "but it doesn't, Mr..." 119 00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:49,360 - Mr... - Potter. 120 00:08:49,434 --> 00:08:50,492 Potter! 121 00:08:50,569 --> 00:08:52,366 You can sue us, okay, but I warn you, 122 00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:54,871 - if you strike me down... - Ms. Taylor's here to see you. 123 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:57,135 SIDNEY.;... I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine. 124 00:08:57,209 --> 00:08:58,699 A hundred men will spring up in my place. 125 00:08:58,777 --> 00:09:02,508 Men who care nothing for success. Men who can't be bought. 126 00:09:02,581 --> 00:09:05,550 - Men whose only loyalty... - I want you to come work for me 127 00:09:05,617 --> 00:09:07,676 at Sharps magazine in New York. 128 00:09:10,188 --> 00:09:12,656 - Fight, fight, fight, fight! - Fight, fight, fight, fight! 129 00:09:14,126 --> 00:09:16,754 You can keep your fucking fax machine! 130 00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:18,420 Can you say that again, please? 131 00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:35,739 I see trees of green 132 00:09:35,814 --> 00:09:38,248 Red roses too 133 00:09:38,317 --> 00:09:41,286 I see them bloom 134 00:09:41,353 --> 00:09:43,378 For me and you 135 00:09:43,455 --> 00:09:46,913 And I say to myself 136 00:09:47,659 --> 00:09:52,358 What a wonderful world 137 00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:58,329 I see skies of blue 138 00:09:58,403 --> 00:10:01,133 And clouds of white 139 00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:04,107 Bright sunny days 140 00:10:04,176 --> 00:10:06,201 Dark sacred nights 141 00:10:06,278 --> 00:10:09,042 And I say to myself 142 00:10:14,987 --> 00:10:16,352 Oh, fuck. 143 00:10:17,155 --> 00:10:20,591 This magazine you're working for, it is good? 144 00:10:20,659 --> 00:10:23,287 Yeah, with Sharps. You know, Sharps magazine. 145 00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:28,356 Sort of high society, fashion, crime, finance, Hollywood celebrities. 146 00:10:28,467 --> 00:10:31,834 Hollywood? Sodom and Gomorrah. 147 00:10:31,937 --> 00:10:33,564 Now everybody is celebrity. 148 00:10:33,639 --> 00:10:36,472 You take out your breasts, you're celebrity. 149 00:10:37,809 --> 00:10:40,300 I think it probably depends on the breasts. 150 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:44,945 In Poland, someone was famous because they'd done something. 151 00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,850 Marie Curie, Pope John Paul. 152 00:10:47,953 --> 00:10:51,411 Yeah, well, they don't make entertainers like that anymore, do they? 153 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,957 Wise guy. 154 00:10:57,963 --> 00:11:00,227 They brought your things yesterday. 155 00:11:00,332 --> 00:11:01,731 Great. Yeah. 156 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:04,492 Yeah, it's nice. 157 00:11:04,569 --> 00:11:08,061 I like it. Yeah, it's good. I'll put my drums in the corner over there. 158 00:11:09,307 --> 00:11:11,969 It's a joke. They're just little. Congas. 159 00:11:13,311 --> 00:11:16,474 - When you start work? - In the morning. 160 00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:19,878 So you got to be fresh, make a good impression. 161 00:11:20,385 --> 00:11:21,750 Go to bed! 162 00:11:22,521 --> 00:11:24,216 That's exactly what I intend to do. 163 00:11:27,325 --> 00:11:30,726 I get around Oh, yeah 164 00:11:30,796 --> 00:11:34,425 I get around Oh, yeah 165 00:11:34,499 --> 00:11:37,525 I get around Oh, yeah 166 00:11:37,602 --> 00:11:40,332 I get around 167 00:11:41,573 --> 00:11:44,406 I get around Oh, yeah 168 00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:48,177 I get around Oh, yeah 169 00:11:48,246 --> 00:11:51,704 I get around Oh, yeah 170 00:11:51,783 --> 00:11:52,943 I get around 171 00:11:55,353 --> 00:11:57,184 Around 172 00:11:57,756 --> 00:12:00,782 I get around Oh, yeah 173 00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:29,651 - Kona, please. - Make that two. 174 00:12:34,659 --> 00:12:37,253 I'm Clark. Clark Baxter. 175 00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:39,925 Nice to meet you. Cheers. 176 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,601 - What is this? - That's a water, sir. 177 00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:46,364 That's not right, is it? Put a bit of beer in it or something. 178 00:12:46,438 --> 00:12:48,929 - I'm sorry, my boyfriend's sitting there. - Is he? 179 00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:50,599 He's fucking small, isn't he? 180 00:12:52,677 --> 00:12:55,771 That's his White Russian. He'll be here any second. 181 00:12:55,847 --> 00:12:57,940 Excuse me, can you reserve seats in this bar? 182 00:12:58,016 --> 00:12:59,176 No. 183 00:13:02,654 --> 00:13:06,590 I'm a journalist. I work for a little periodical 184 00:13:06,658 --> 00:13:07,750 you might have heard of, 185 00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:11,353 Sharps magazine. I'm the cultural editor. I... 186 00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:15,297 This is a library card from Gloucester. 187 00:13:15,367 --> 00:13:18,632 Don't. It's the wrong one, isn't it? I've got... 188 00:13:19,938 --> 00:13:22,771 - Happy now? - Just doing my bit for the gene pool. 189 00:13:26,311 --> 00:13:28,506 Who is that with Clint Eastwood? 190 00:13:28,613 --> 00:13:31,013 - Morgan Freeman? - No, in the headlock. 191 00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:33,981 - You got this laminated? - Give it to me. 192 00:13:34,052 --> 00:13:35,110 Oh! 193 00:13:35,187 --> 00:13:36,313 - Shit. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 194 00:13:36,388 --> 00:13:38,720 - No, no, no! No, no, just leave it! - All right. 195 00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:40,280 It's got... Okay, then. 196 00:13:42,194 --> 00:13:44,424 It's pronounced Gloucester, by the way. 197 00:13:44,496 --> 00:13:47,659 - Are you going to get off of that seat? - No. 198 00:13:48,466 --> 00:13:51,094 - Do you know the meaning of karma? - The curry? 199 00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:54,734 What goes around comes around. 200 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,831 The moment is approaching where you'll pay the price 201 00:13:56,908 --> 00:13:58,136 for being an asshole. 202 00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,643 And when my boyfriend gets here, 203 00:13:59,711 --> 00:14:02,339 I'm going to encourage him to take you outside... 204 00:14:06,184 --> 00:14:08,550 Hello. Hi, honey. 205 00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:13,590 All right, I'll see you then. 206 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:17,385 Boyfriend not coming? 207 00:14:19,197 --> 00:14:22,826 Look, I'm sorry, okay? Do you think... Do you think... 208 00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:27,565 Do you think I could have his drink? 209 00:14:28,773 --> 00:14:30,138 - Bobbie. - Hey! 210 00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:33,234 - Do you want my seat? I'm just leaving. - Thanks. 211 00:14:39,384 --> 00:14:42,353 Who do you think that is with Clint Eastwood? 212 00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:47,147 Chicken, pay the chicken back Back, pay the chicken back 213 00:14:47,225 --> 00:14:50,388 Pay back the chicken back Do the chicken payback 214 00:14:50,462 --> 00:14:52,191 Come on Pay the camel back 215 00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:53,856 Sitting on a camel back 216 00:14:53,932 --> 00:14:57,231 See the camel, do the camel Pay the camel back 217 00:14:58,436 --> 00:14:59,994 I'm going to go powder my nose. 218 00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:03,302 Why don't you put on something a little more romantic, huh? 219 00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:34,603 - Mrs. Lebowski? - Kowalski. 220 00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:39,104 You know what time it is? The music blaring, the door open. 221 00:15:39,577 --> 00:15:43,240 Was it? Fuck. I mean, sorry. Shit. I mean, sorry. 222 00:15:43,315 --> 00:15:47,274 I just... I ran into an old friend and I brought her back for a little... 223 00:15:49,054 --> 00:15:50,316 Penis! 224 00:16:09,274 --> 00:16:10,400 Bloody... 225 00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:22,019 You can do this. You can do it. 226 00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:27,581 You can do this. You so can do this. 227 00:16:37,502 --> 00:16:38,867 Come on, Bob. 228 00:16:38,970 --> 00:16:41,530 A quick cup of coffee, then you've got to go. 229 00:16:58,623 --> 00:17:00,784 This is my city. 230 00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:04,791 This is my building. 231 00:17:06,965 --> 00:17:08,990 This is my lobby. 232 00:17:13,405 --> 00:17:15,635 These are my models. 233 00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:21,740 This is my workplace. 234 00:17:23,548 --> 00:17:25,675 He's come down to see Mr. Harding. 235 00:17:31,923 --> 00:17:34,858 And this is my boss. 236 00:17:38,329 --> 00:17:40,490 What the fuck are you wearing? 237 00:17:41,533 --> 00:17:44,161 Do you like it? I've got you one, actually. 238 00:17:48,339 --> 00:17:49,533 Thanks. 239 00:17:53,078 --> 00:17:56,070 - Sit down. How was your flight? - Yeah, it was good. 240 00:17:56,181 --> 00:17:58,741 Thanks for the business-class tickets, Clay. 241 00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:02,513 That was a mistake. And don't call me Clay. 242 00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:05,555 - Can we smoke? - We? No. 243 00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:13,755 Oh, my God. You... You've seen... Yeah, okay. 244 00:18:14,232 --> 00:18:16,496 That was a little... I'm actually a big fan 245 00:18:16,568 --> 00:18:18,399 of your early, funnier stuff. 246 00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:20,700 Snipe magazine was really good. 247 00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:28,270 You've actually been a big influence on me. 248 00:18:28,646 --> 00:18:33,640 And I think together we can really inject some of that Snipe spirit into Sharps. 249 00:18:33,751 --> 00:18:35,378 I've got some ideas, actually, if you'd like... 250 00:18:35,453 --> 00:18:37,944 You think you've arrived, don't you? 251 00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:41,517 Hate to break it to you, but you're only in the first room. 252 00:18:41,593 --> 00:18:44,061 In about a year, maybe longer, 253 00:18:45,663 --> 00:18:48,757 you'll discover a secret doorway 254 00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:52,827 at the back of the first room that leads to the second. 255 00:18:53,571 --> 00:18:56,369 And in time, if you're lucky, you'll discover another doorway 256 00:18:56,441 --> 00:18:59,467 in the back of the second room that leads to the third. 257 00:18:59,844 --> 00:19:02,677 There are seven rooms altogether. 258 00:19:03,515 --> 00:19:06,951 You're in the first. I'm in the seventh. 259 00:19:08,086 --> 00:19:09,678 Don't you forget it. 260 00:19:10,688 --> 00:19:15,057 Can I use the bathroom in the seventh? 'Cause the one in the first really smells. 261 00:19:15,493 --> 00:19:18,360 Which leads us to the subject of your sense of humor. 262 00:19:18,429 --> 00:19:20,294 I had a look through your magazine here. 263 00:19:20,365 --> 00:19:21,957 What did you think? 264 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,324 Felt it was kind of snarky 265 00:19:25,537 --> 00:19:27,164 and bitter 266 00:19:27,705 --> 00:19:29,195 and witless. 267 00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:34,637 I'm going to try you out in the "I Spy" section. 268 00:19:34,846 --> 00:19:37,314 You're going to report to Lawrence Maddox. 269 00:19:38,816 --> 00:19:40,807 Well, Sidney, I know we've only just met, 270 00:19:40,885 --> 00:19:42,250 but already I perceive I'm in the presence 271 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,151 of a rare comic sensibility. 272 00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:47,487 - Thanks. - Harding wants me to be your rabbi. 273 00:19:47,559 --> 00:19:49,754 - Show you the ropes. Mr. Maddox. 274 00:19:49,827 --> 00:19:51,886 Are you aware of what we do at "I Spy"? 275 00:19:51,963 --> 00:19:54,693 You photograph famous people when they're drunk. 276 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:58,825 "I Spy" is the nation's window into high society. 277 00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:00,161 Thank you. 278 00:20:00,238 --> 00:20:03,332 The looky-Ioos read us because, well, they weren't there. 279 00:20:03,408 --> 00:20:06,900 And the glitterati read us because we tell them they were there. 280 00:20:07,011 --> 00:20:09,775 For the system to work, we have to know where "there" is. 281 00:20:09,847 --> 00:20:13,374 So when we go out to clubs and stuff, is that on expenses? 282 00:20:13,484 --> 00:20:16,044 This isn't a vacation. It's a vocation. 283 00:20:19,390 --> 00:20:22,450 And when we do go out, you're going to have to wear something more suitable. 284 00:20:22,527 --> 00:20:25,496 - What do you mean by suitable? - Something that covers all this up. 285 00:20:31,936 --> 00:20:36,339 - Is that Mussolini? - No, Sidney, that's Richard Heywood, 286 00:20:36,774 --> 00:20:38,435 owner of this magazine. 287 00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:41,071 He does, doesn't he? A bit of the... 288 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,805 Who's this funny-Iooking kid? Is that his son? 289 00:20:44,882 --> 00:20:47,851 That's his daughter, Elizabeth. Now my wife. 290 00:20:49,854 --> 00:20:51,048 Really? 291 00:20:51,122 --> 00:20:53,613 She's very... Isn't she? She's got... 292 00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:58,093 I mean, babies are all like Mussolini, aren't they? 293 00:20:58,396 --> 00:21:01,092 Ms. Olsen takes care of book launches, gallery openings 294 00:21:01,165 --> 00:21:03,156 and other intellectual fare. 295 00:21:03,268 --> 00:21:06,533 Ms. Olsen, would you find our new rookie something to do? 296 00:21:06,604 --> 00:21:09,437 I hear the cultural editor's job is up for grabs. 297 00:21:17,282 --> 00:21:19,216 Look, seeing as I'm going to be sitting just there, 298 00:21:19,284 --> 00:21:21,650 don't you think we should put last night behind us? 299 00:21:21,719 --> 00:21:23,619 No. Now, get off my desk. 300 00:21:24,322 --> 00:21:28,122 Yeah, but... I don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing. 301 00:21:30,628 --> 00:21:34,564 - Are you going to help me out? - Sure. Which way did you come in? 302 00:21:36,334 --> 00:21:40,600 Here, Chris Blick exhibition opening. Caption it. Now get off my desk. 303 00:21:43,241 --> 00:21:45,402 - Hi. - Hi, Ingrid. 304 00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:48,069 Aren't you going to introduce us? 305 00:21:49,314 --> 00:21:53,148 - This is Clark Baxter. - It's Sidney, actually. Sidney Young. 306 00:21:53,418 --> 00:21:56,819 - Clark Baxter's my alias, so... - Why would you need an alias? 307 00:21:56,921 --> 00:21:59,788 He uses it when he's trying to pick up transsexuals. 308 00:22:00,992 --> 00:22:02,323 He's English. 309 00:22:02,393 --> 00:22:04,327 Oh. Right. 310 00:22:08,299 --> 00:22:10,733 - WOMAN.; Hello. - Hello, is that the Parsons Gallery? 311 00:22:10,802 --> 00:22:13,236 Yes, it is. This is Celia Parsons speaking. 312 00:22:13,304 --> 00:22:16,171 Hi, this is Sidney Young from Sharps magazine. 313 00:22:16,774 --> 00:22:18,901 We're running some photographs from your opening 314 00:22:18,976 --> 00:22:21,103 of the Chris Blick exhibition, 315 00:22:21,179 --> 00:22:22,806 and I've been asked to caption them. 316 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,815 I wonder if you could help me identify a few people. 317 00:22:25,883 --> 00:22:27,350 - All right. - Thanks. 318 00:22:27,652 --> 00:22:29,779 Chris Blick. Man or woman? 319 00:22:30,655 --> 00:22:33,021 - What? - Is Chris Blick a man or a woman? 320 00:22:33,825 --> 00:22:36,589 Are you sure you're calling from Sharps magazine? 321 00:22:36,661 --> 00:22:38,026 Yes, I am. 322 00:22:38,129 --> 00:22:39,596 Well, then, tell me, Stanley, 323 00:22:39,664 --> 00:22:41,325 why have they given you this assignment 324 00:22:41,399 --> 00:22:43,629 if you don't know who one of the most famous artists 325 00:22:43,701 --> 00:22:44,998 in America is? 326 00:22:45,203 --> 00:22:46,397 I don't know. 327 00:22:46,671 --> 00:22:49,663 - He's a man! - Great. Okay. Is he an old man? 328 00:22:51,376 --> 00:22:53,173 He's an older man, yes. 329 00:22:53,244 --> 00:22:56,577 'Cause I've got two old men here. Is he the fat one? 330 00:22:57,515 --> 00:23:01,178 You do realize that Clayton Harding is a personal friend of mine? 331 00:23:01,252 --> 00:23:03,049 - What's that got to do with anything? - Right. 332 00:23:17,502 --> 00:23:20,665 - WOMAN.; Parsons Gallery. - Is he the one with the wonky eye, then? 333 00:23:41,726 --> 00:23:43,717 It's fashion sensitive. 334 00:23:43,795 --> 00:23:46,730 If you're not wearing Prada, it will take your arm clean off. 335 00:23:46,798 --> 00:23:48,891 But I am wearing Prada. 336 00:24:06,751 --> 00:24:08,878 This place isn't what I expected. 337 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:12,983 - What did you expect? - I don't know, like, the Algonquin Circle. 338 00:24:13,090 --> 00:24:16,321 Dorothy Parker. You know, martinis, quips. 339 00:24:16,427 --> 00:24:19,191 - Nobody here's drunk. - It's called being professional. 340 00:24:19,263 --> 00:24:20,594 You should try it sometime. 341 00:24:20,665 --> 00:24:21,825 Here's something you gotta understand, okay? 342 00:24:21,899 --> 00:24:22,991 I'm not really one of you. 343 00:24:23,067 --> 00:24:25,934 - By "you," do you mean human? - No, I mean one of the glossy posse. 344 00:24:26,003 --> 00:24:29,234 Bunch of zombies writing about pets of the stars, 345 00:24:29,307 --> 00:24:30,774 acting like they're working for the UN. 346 00:24:30,842 --> 00:24:33,072 I am here to shake things up. 347 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,672 Where are you from? 348 00:24:37,782 --> 00:24:41,240 Not that it's any of your business, but Port Huron, Michigan. 349 00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:43,549 Ah! Small-town girl. 350 00:24:43,621 --> 00:24:45,589 I bet you couldn't wait to get out. 351 00:24:45,656 --> 00:24:46,645 Get anywhere. 352 00:24:46,724 --> 00:24:48,692 Get all the way to the NYC. 353 00:24:50,194 --> 00:24:51,752 Silence of the Lambs. 354 00:24:52,430 --> 00:24:53,863 Let me give you a bit of advice, okay? 355 00:24:53,931 --> 00:24:55,831 Don't take the celebrity fluff too seriously. 356 00:24:57,134 --> 00:24:58,931 You arrogant... 357 00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:35,503 Are you insane? 358 00:25:35,573 --> 00:25:37,473 - What? - That was Lawrence Maddox's wife. 359 00:25:37,542 --> 00:25:39,476 Elizabeth. Her father owns Sharps. 360 00:25:39,544 --> 00:25:42,172 What? That was her? The Mussolini baby? 361 00:25:42,647 --> 00:25:44,444 - Well, I could go back... - No! You do not 362 00:25:44,515 --> 00:25:46,483 approach Elizabeth Maddox, you do not talk to her, 363 00:25:46,551 --> 00:25:49,349 don't even make eye contact with her. Do you understand? 364 00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,980 - What? Am I supposed to be afraid? - Yes. 365 00:25:52,056 --> 00:25:54,081 I don't know the meaning of the word fear. 366 00:25:54,158 --> 00:25:56,956 I'm sure there are many words you don't know the meaning of. 367 00:25:57,028 --> 00:25:59,656 - What does that mean? - When I think of all the people 368 00:25:59,730 --> 00:26:01,254 who would kill to be where you are. 369 00:26:01,332 --> 00:26:03,664 You lumber in here, spitting food, 370 00:26:03,734 --> 00:26:06,328 haven't got the brains God gave a mollusc. 371 00:26:06,404 --> 00:26:07,837 Why did Clayton hire you? 372 00:26:07,905 --> 00:26:10,066 - Snipe magazine. - What? 373 00:26:10,174 --> 00:26:12,506 When Clayton left college, he started this magazine called Snipe. 374 00:26:12,577 --> 00:26:15,842 It was fantastic. Just took aim at all the self-important celebrities in town. 375 00:26:15,913 --> 00:26:17,175 It was completely fearless. 376 00:26:17,248 --> 00:26:19,341 It was like my magazine, but 20 years earlier. 377 00:26:19,417 --> 00:26:22,147 I am the young Clayton Harding. That's why he hired me. 378 00:26:22,219 --> 00:26:24,619 He looks at me and he sees his glory days. 379 00:26:24,689 --> 00:26:26,782 - His glory days? - Yeah. 380 00:26:26,891 --> 00:26:29,018 Sharps has won over 14 National Magazine Awards 381 00:26:29,093 --> 00:26:32,585 and increased its advertising pages by 60% since he took over. 382 00:26:32,697 --> 00:26:35,632 He lives in a Bank Street townhouse, and weekends in the Hamptons. 383 00:26:35,700 --> 00:26:39,033 Clayton Harding is one of the linchpins of the media-industrial complex. 384 00:26:39,103 --> 00:26:43,199 Don't worry about that. I think I might just be in time to save him. 385 00:26:45,810 --> 00:26:47,209 Hello, you've reached Sidney Young. 386 00:26:47,278 --> 00:26:49,371 I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order. 387 00:26:49,447 --> 00:26:51,915 So the voice you're hearing is actually me. What do you want? 388 00:26:53,384 --> 00:26:55,375 RICHARD.; Sidney? Are you there? 389 00:26:57,054 --> 00:26:59,386 Sidney? It's your father. 390 00:27:00,925 --> 00:27:04,383 If you're there, Sidney, please answer the phone. 391 00:27:06,297 --> 00:27:07,559 Sidney. 392 00:27:08,299 --> 00:27:09,766 Are you there? 393 00:27:12,370 --> 00:27:18,798 In the cool of the evening When everything is getting kind of groovy 394 00:27:21,445 --> 00:27:27,907 You call me up and ask me would I like to go with you and see a movie 395 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,387 Wow. Look at that. 396 00:27:31,455 --> 00:27:35,084 First I say no, I've got some plans for the night 397 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,952 Are you two texting each other? 398 00:27:39,864 --> 00:27:46,030 Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you 399 00:27:49,140 --> 00:27:51,267 You always keep me guessing 400 00:27:51,342 --> 00:27:55,472 I never seem to know what you are thinking 401 00:27:57,748 --> 00:28:03,516 And if a girl looks at you, it's for sure your little eye will be a-winking 402 00:28:13,130 --> 00:28:14,791 There's about 100 grand's worth of food here, 403 00:28:14,865 --> 00:28:17,197 and I think I'm the only one eating it. 404 00:28:17,268 --> 00:28:18,929 - You want some? - No. 405 00:28:21,539 --> 00:28:24,770 - This place is just wall-to-wall totty. - Wall-to-wall what? 406 00:28:24,842 --> 00:28:27,106 Totty. You know, babes. 407 00:28:27,178 --> 00:28:29,476 - Sexually-attractive women. - Do you mind? 408 00:28:29,547 --> 00:28:30,809 What? 409 00:28:30,881 --> 00:28:32,781 - Hey, Lawrence, how are you? - Hey, I'm good. 410 00:28:32,850 --> 00:28:34,613 Good to see you. 411 00:28:34,685 --> 00:28:35,743 Look at that. 412 00:28:35,820 --> 00:28:37,720 All night long, people have been treating us like royalty. 413 00:28:37,788 --> 00:28:39,050 In London, the journalist's motto is, 414 00:28:39,123 --> 00:28:40,818 "Everybody hates us, and we don't care." 415 00:28:40,891 --> 00:28:43,792 Well, now you're one of the high priests of what's hot and what's not. 416 00:28:43,861 --> 00:28:46,261 I shouldn't even be here. I get thrown out of places like this. 417 00:29:00,144 --> 00:29:02,544 Lawrence Maddox? Oh, my goodness. 418 00:29:03,013 --> 00:29:04,913 - Long time. Yeah. 419 00:29:05,382 --> 00:29:08,078 You know, it is so funny I should run into you. 420 00:29:08,519 --> 00:29:12,387 I've just done this great little film. It's called Five Boroughs. 421 00:29:12,490 --> 00:29:14,185 - It's low-budget. First-time director. - Yeah. 422 00:29:14,258 --> 00:29:16,158 But it's really moving. 423 00:29:16,994 --> 00:29:19,929 Hey, you know, maybe you could do a little... 424 00:29:20,564 --> 00:29:21,656 Vincent. 425 00:29:21,732 --> 00:29:23,927 - Good to see you. - Lawrence, right? 426 00:29:24,034 --> 00:29:25,934 - Yeah. - How are you, sir? 427 00:29:26,036 --> 00:29:27,298 - Good. - Good to see you, too. 428 00:29:27,371 --> 00:29:29,498 - How's the picture? - Pretty close to perfect, 429 00:29:29,573 --> 00:29:32,201 if I can just get all the experts to leave me alone. 430 00:29:32,276 --> 00:29:34,005 In fact, I'm going to have some screenings next week. 431 00:29:34,078 --> 00:29:35,841 - You should come by. - Hey, 432 00:29:36,413 --> 00:29:39,746 that was Rachel Petkoff. She's a fantastic actress. 433 00:29:39,850 --> 00:29:42,318 She's not been in anything for a while, but she was, in her day... 434 00:29:42,386 --> 00:29:44,013 - Sure. - No, seriously. 435 00:29:44,088 --> 00:29:45,146 I think she's due for a comeback. 436 00:29:45,222 --> 00:29:47,190 We should get in there. Do a profile before anyone else... 437 00:29:47,258 --> 00:29:52,059 Sidney, I'd like to introduce you to Vincent Lepak, enfant terrible. 438 00:29:52,563 --> 00:29:56,727 In my opinion, the most exciting new director in American cinema. 439 00:29:56,801 --> 00:29:59,065 This is the worst fundraiser I've been to in my whole life. 440 00:29:59,136 --> 00:30:01,036 It's a rat fuck, isn't it? 441 00:30:01,639 --> 00:30:04,164 - It's going well, huh? Yeah. 442 00:30:09,814 --> 00:30:11,213 Excuse me. 443 00:30:12,216 --> 00:30:15,276 Could I have your autograph, please? I'm a huge fan. 444 00:30:17,555 --> 00:30:19,250 - Is that so? - Yeah, I've seen everything 445 00:30:19,323 --> 00:30:20,813 you've been in. 446 00:30:20,925 --> 00:30:22,517 Those episodes of The Love Boat 447 00:30:22,593 --> 00:30:25,460 and The Bionic Woman and Song Birds. 448 00:30:25,963 --> 00:30:29,922 In The Night. And I saw your first ever TV appearance, 449 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,991 The Twilight Zone, "House of Mirrors." 450 00:30:33,437 --> 00:30:34,563 Right! 451 00:30:34,638 --> 00:30:37,971 But my all-time favorite has to be A Day Too Long. 452 00:30:38,075 --> 00:30:39,667 You look great in that. 453 00:30:45,683 --> 00:30:49,084 - What's your name, honey? - It's Sidney. Sidney Young. 454 00:30:49,820 --> 00:30:52,516 Sidney Young. 455 00:30:55,626 --> 00:30:57,787 - Thanks. - I'll remember that. 456 00:31:00,164 --> 00:31:01,688 Thank you. 457 00:31:04,535 --> 00:31:08,266 I mean, you look around you and it's all shit, you know. 458 00:31:08,339 --> 00:31:10,136 No one's making movies that are fucking worthwhile. 459 00:31:10,207 --> 00:31:12,471 I have to disagree with you, Vincent. 460 00:31:12,843 --> 00:31:15,209 You're making movies that are worthwhile. 461 00:31:15,312 --> 00:31:18,281 This is what I'm saying, you know. You have to inspire yourself. 462 00:31:18,349 --> 00:31:20,943 I am my role model. I want to be me. 463 00:31:21,852 --> 00:31:24,116 - What's the greatest film ever made? - Excuse me? 464 00:31:24,188 --> 00:31:27,021 What is the greatest film ever made? Have a guess. 465 00:31:27,524 --> 00:31:31,290 Well, I don't know. I don't think there is one... 466 00:31:31,362 --> 00:31:32,829 - Have a guess. Yeah. No. Have a guess. 467 00:31:32,897 --> 00:31:34,489 What's the greatest film ever made? 468 00:31:34,565 --> 00:31:37,830 It's hard to say. I mean, I personally love La Dolce Vita. 469 00:31:38,969 --> 00:31:40,664 Incorrect. 470 00:31:40,738 --> 00:31:42,296 Con Air. 471 00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:45,303 - I beg your pardon? - Con Air, right? 472 00:31:45,376 --> 00:31:46,468 It's got everything, hasn't it? 473 00:31:46,543 --> 00:31:48,977 You know, you've got Malkovich for your acting chops, 474 00:31:49,046 --> 00:31:52,607 you got Nicky Cage for your action, Steve Buscemi for your comedy, 475 00:31:52,683 --> 00:31:55,311 John Cusack for the gays. Right? 476 00:31:55,386 --> 00:31:56,978 It's like a smorgasbord, isn't it? 477 00:31:59,757 --> 00:32:00,917 I don't think we've been introduced. 478 00:32:02,192 --> 00:32:05,753 Mr. Young, this is Eleanor Johnson, Queen of New York. 479 00:32:05,863 --> 00:32:09,230 Sidney's from England. He's our very own idiot savant. 480 00:32:09,333 --> 00:32:11,028 Without the savant. 481 00:32:11,669 --> 00:32:14,661 It's always nice to have fresh blood at these things. 482 00:32:15,339 --> 00:32:17,330 Which reminds me. 483 00:32:17,408 --> 00:32:20,866 I am here with Sophie Maes. I want you to meet her. 484 00:32:21,011 --> 00:32:25,107 Her new film, The Making of a Saint, the buzz is amazing. 485 00:32:25,215 --> 00:32:29,584 - What are you? A publicist? - I don't really like that word, Sidney. 486 00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,020 What do I call you, then? 487 00:32:33,023 --> 00:32:35,116 You can call me Eleanor. 488 00:32:35,859 --> 00:32:37,417 All right. 489 00:32:37,861 --> 00:32:39,294 There she is. 490 00:33:41,158 --> 00:33:42,955 This one will go far. 491 00:33:46,196 --> 00:33:47,857 Where's the car? 492 00:33:48,465 --> 00:33:50,296 What's it doing at the back? 493 00:33:50,868 --> 00:33:53,530 Forget what I said. I want it at the front now. 494 00:33:53,704 --> 00:33:56,696 I just think it's so awful how we're still exploiting animals, 495 00:33:56,774 --> 00:34:01,268 which is why I won't wear fur or leather, or wear make-up. 496 00:34:01,345 --> 00:34:02,812 I'm a vegetarian. 497 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,213 I'm with you on that one. I won't eat anything with eyebrows. 498 00:34:07,051 --> 00:34:08,211 Or something that can chuckle. 499 00:34:08,285 --> 00:34:10,913 I would never eat an animal that could chuckle. 500 00:34:10,988 --> 00:34:14,981 I'm sorry, I can't really understand your accent very well. 501 00:34:15,059 --> 00:34:17,994 Nothing, I was just... So you're an actress, are you? 502 00:34:18,062 --> 00:34:20,724 - So you've not won any Oscars, then? - No. 503 00:34:20,998 --> 00:34:24,559 'Cause I would definitely vote for you for Best Supporting Dress. 504 00:34:25,369 --> 00:34:27,701 I haven't been nominated for anything. 505 00:34:27,805 --> 00:34:29,898 - I realize. I was just saying... Sophie. 506 00:34:29,973 --> 00:34:31,998 - Dear, are you ready? - Yeah. 507 00:34:32,076 --> 00:34:34,135 I was joking, 'cause your dress is... 508 00:34:34,211 --> 00:34:36,179 Now, you know what to do. 509 00:34:39,383 --> 00:34:40,441 Thank you! 510 00:34:40,517 --> 00:34:43,315 This side. Lovely. 511 00:34:43,554 --> 00:34:46,318 Sophie! Sophie, Sophie! 512 00:34:49,426 --> 00:34:51,724 Thank you. Thank you very much. 513 00:34:53,564 --> 00:34:55,862 - All right. Let's get in. Sophie! 514 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,295 I'm going to the Circle Club. I'll see you tomorrow. 515 00:34:58,368 --> 00:34:59,699 Okay. Good night. 516 00:35:03,173 --> 00:35:04,868 - Budge up. - Where are you going? 517 00:35:04,942 --> 00:35:07,433 - I'm going to the club. - I'm sorry, you're not on the list. 518 00:35:08,612 --> 00:35:10,876 - Cuba! - See? Even Cuba says so. 519 00:35:12,249 --> 00:35:13,614 Cuba. 520 00:35:14,351 --> 00:35:16,683 - Who's a good boy? - To the Circle Club. 521 00:35:18,388 --> 00:35:20,948 Oh, God! That just turns my stomach. 522 00:35:21,058 --> 00:35:23,322 He's pawing all over her. He's old enough to be her father. 523 00:35:23,393 --> 00:35:25,452 - No, he isn't. - Yes, he is. 524 00:35:25,762 --> 00:35:27,992 Actually, I was producing sperm when I was 13, technically. 525 00:35:28,065 --> 00:35:31,501 For your information, he wasn't pawing her. He was just doing his job. 526 00:35:31,568 --> 00:35:34,469 In case you haven't noticed, Sharps has to have a star on the cover every month, 527 00:35:34,538 --> 00:35:38,133 and most of those stars are Eleanor's clients, so do not piss her off. 528 00:35:38,208 --> 00:35:41,439 She's a flack. Hacks do not take orders from flacks. 529 00:35:41,545 --> 00:35:43,376 And I wouldn't call that doing his job, okay? 530 00:35:43,447 --> 00:35:44,846 He had no blood left in his upper body. 531 00:35:44,915 --> 00:35:46,405 Would you... 532 00:35:47,384 --> 00:35:51,718 And the next time you want to do that hilariously ironic "I love Con Air" skit... 533 00:35:51,788 --> 00:35:53,221 I wasn't being ironic. 534 00:35:53,290 --> 00:35:56,987 ...would you mind not doing it in front of Vincent Lepak, 535 00:35:57,094 --> 00:35:58,925 who happens to be very important? 536 00:35:58,996 --> 00:36:03,228 Yeah, I could tell that by the way he was allowed to stay up past his bedtime. 537 00:36:03,634 --> 00:36:05,761 - Do you think she'd go out with me? - Who? 538 00:36:05,836 --> 00:36:07,394 Sophie Maes. Do you think she would go out with me? 539 00:36:07,471 --> 00:36:08,563 No. 540 00:36:08,639 --> 00:36:11,267 Girls like Sophie do not date journalists. 541 00:36:11,341 --> 00:36:13,241 And as far as she's concerned, you're the help. 542 00:36:13,310 --> 00:36:16,336 What do you know? Anyway, a lot of these starlets are Ionely. 543 00:36:16,413 --> 00:36:18,677 All they do is look around for men. 544 00:36:18,782 --> 00:36:20,113 This is New York, Sidney. 545 00:36:20,184 --> 00:36:21,879 Women only date men who are successful. 546 00:36:21,952 --> 00:36:24,182 - I'm going to be successful. - And tall. 547 00:36:24,254 --> 00:36:25,312 Yeah... 548 00:36:35,098 --> 00:36:37,623 Have you seen this? She's everywhere. 549 00:36:40,304 --> 00:36:41,931 Great coverage. 550 00:36:45,209 --> 00:36:46,767 From Sophie Maes. 551 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,713 "Thanks for the great night." Sweet kid. 552 00:36:54,184 --> 00:36:56,379 Sidney, about last night. 553 00:36:57,321 --> 00:37:00,620 A word of advice. Don't talk to the celebrities. 554 00:37:01,858 --> 00:37:04,554 Sophie said you made her uncomfortable. 555 00:37:50,574 --> 00:37:54,101 So, Brad's people finally got back to me and they've agreed. 556 00:37:54,211 --> 00:37:56,736 We have the whole afternoon before the shoot. 557 00:37:56,847 --> 00:37:58,610 Good work, Lawrence. 558 00:37:58,715 --> 00:38:00,842 Okay, if that's it... 559 00:38:02,052 --> 00:38:04,543 Actually, I was thinking, Clay. 560 00:38:05,055 --> 00:38:06,579 Paris Hilton. 561 00:38:06,690 --> 00:38:10,717 I do a profile on her as if she's this complete recluse. 562 00:38:10,794 --> 00:38:13,024 Like a hermit. 563 00:38:13,096 --> 00:38:14,688 You know? I'm tracking her down. 564 00:38:14,765 --> 00:38:17,791 "Who is the elusive Paris Hilton and why is she so publicity shy?" 565 00:38:20,237 --> 00:38:21,568 'Cause... 566 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:24,564 Isn't it? It's good. 567 00:38:24,641 --> 00:38:26,370 'Cause just changing it... 568 00:38:27,911 --> 00:38:29,378 That's first room stuff, Sidney. 569 00:38:29,446 --> 00:38:32,472 And call me Clay one more time, see what happens. 570 00:38:38,588 --> 00:38:40,351 I thought that was quite good. 571 00:38:40,424 --> 00:38:41,618 Sorry. 572 00:38:49,333 --> 00:38:52,666 If I give you an interview, will you leave me the fuck alone? 573 00:38:53,737 --> 00:38:57,332 - Bill Nathanson, nice to meet you. - Sidney Young, Sharps magazine. 574 00:38:58,308 --> 00:39:01,971 Huge fan. Lovely to meet you. I've just seen the film 575 00:39:03,413 --> 00:39:04,778 - Rap Rat. - Good. 576 00:39:04,848 --> 00:39:06,338 - Did you like it? - I did. 577 00:39:06,416 --> 00:39:10,853 I did like it. I did. I liked the hamster thing that you played. 578 00:39:10,954 --> 00:39:13,013 - Actually, he's a chipmunk. - Yeah. 579 00:39:13,590 --> 00:39:14,750 Now, I've done a bit of research 580 00:39:14,825 --> 00:39:16,588 and I can see that you're quite a private man. 581 00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:19,220 - Is that right? - Well, I like to keep a line... 582 00:39:19,296 --> 00:39:23,460 I think that's great. That's brilliant, but today, let's get behind the mask. 583 00:39:23,867 --> 00:39:26,859 I don't think there really is a mask, as such. 584 00:39:26,970 --> 00:39:29,234 I don't mean to be a pain, but what I really want to talk about today 585 00:39:29,306 --> 00:39:30,398 is the new musical... 586 00:39:30,474 --> 00:39:32,066 - Yeah. ...and keep it about the work. 587 00:39:32,142 --> 00:39:34,007 - Is that all right? - Okay. 588 00:39:34,111 --> 00:39:36,375 First question. Are you Jewish? 589 00:39:37,848 --> 00:39:40,510 I don't see what the relevance of that is. 590 00:39:41,351 --> 00:39:44,286 Okay. Well, fine. Second question. 591 00:39:44,354 --> 00:39:46,948 The hamster thing that you play in the film... 592 00:39:47,023 --> 00:39:49,150 - It's a chipmunk. - Whatever. 593 00:39:49,226 --> 00:39:50,625 Is that gay? 594 00:39:51,895 --> 00:39:55,661 - It's a chipmunk. - I know, yeah, but is it a gay chipmunk? 595 00:39:56,867 --> 00:39:59,631 Look, it's a kids' cartoon. It's just a chipmunk, okay? 596 00:39:59,703 --> 00:40:02,171 I mean, I don't think chipmunks can be gay. 597 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,640 All right. So it's straight. It's a straight chipmunk. 598 00:40:06,009 --> 00:40:08,842 - Yeah, absolutely. - Okay. Got that. So... 599 00:40:11,882 --> 00:40:13,315 Are you gay? 600 00:40:18,388 --> 00:40:19,582 I was... 601 00:40:20,757 --> 00:40:21,951 I was trying to probe. 602 00:40:22,025 --> 00:40:25,483 You want to probe, become a proctologist. 603 00:40:29,499 --> 00:40:34,960 You can't ask a musical comedy star whether he's Jewish or gay. 604 00:40:35,038 --> 00:40:39,372 From now on, just assume they are all Jewish and all gay. 605 00:40:39,476 --> 00:40:41,000 - Okay? - All right. 606 00:40:49,519 --> 00:40:52,420 No, I'd love this, but I'm so fat I couldn't. 607 00:40:52,522 --> 00:40:55,047 - Get out of here. - You look totally rexy. 608 00:40:55,158 --> 00:40:56,648 That's so sweet. 609 00:41:02,833 --> 00:41:05,802 I don't mean to be rude, Sidney, but what the fuck do you want? 610 00:41:05,869 --> 00:41:07,097 You know how things work here. 611 00:41:07,170 --> 00:41:09,502 How am I going to get a piece in the magazine? 612 00:41:09,573 --> 00:41:11,837 I thought all this fluff was beneath you. 613 00:41:11,908 --> 00:41:14,775 It is beneath me, but things have changed. 614 00:41:15,178 --> 00:41:16,577 What's changed? 615 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,012 Well, I know everybody thinks I'm a bit of an idiot. 616 00:41:19,082 --> 00:41:23,109 Okay, and maybe I didn't have the best start here, but I want... 617 00:41:23,753 --> 00:41:25,015 I want... 618 00:41:25,222 --> 00:41:28,749 I want to have sex with Sophie Maes before Maddox does. 619 00:41:31,428 --> 00:41:33,396 You're loathsome, do you know that? 620 00:41:33,463 --> 00:41:36,193 I know he's got a bit of a head start, but I think I can win her back. 621 00:41:36,266 --> 00:41:39,394 'Cause once I get my hooks into a girl, she never gets free. 622 00:41:39,469 --> 00:41:41,437 - Like ringworm. - Lf you like. 623 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:45,530 Where are you going? 624 00:41:50,814 --> 00:41:53,942 You, buddy. You big corporate dick-lick. 625 00:42:00,390 --> 00:42:04,087 Hello, I'd like to apply for a MasterCard, please. 626 00:42:04,895 --> 00:42:08,126 Yeah. Hon Sidney Young. 627 00:42:09,566 --> 00:42:14,265 Hon. H-O-N. It's short for "Honorable." Yeah, it's a British title. 628 00:42:15,438 --> 00:42:18,066 The Queen? Yeah, I know the Queen. 629 00:42:18,141 --> 00:42:20,575 She used to be in my break-dancing posse. 630 00:42:20,744 --> 00:42:22,336 She's a body-popper more than anything. 631 00:42:24,681 --> 00:42:26,012 Fuck! 632 00:42:28,518 --> 00:42:30,986 Well, hello. Cuba! 633 00:42:32,656 --> 00:42:34,317 He likes you. 634 00:42:35,025 --> 00:42:37,323 So, how's it feel to be a star? 635 00:42:37,427 --> 00:42:41,227 No, don't, it's so embarrassing. God. Those pictures are everywhere now, 636 00:42:41,298 --> 00:42:44,096 and I had no idea that, that dress was so see-through. 637 00:42:44,167 --> 00:42:46,795 Plus, everybody's talking about it like it was some kind of stunt. 638 00:42:46,870 --> 00:42:48,599 Such a cynical age. 639 00:42:49,105 --> 00:42:50,800 Hello, Sidney. 640 00:42:55,545 --> 00:42:58,810 Hi, I was just looking for my, you know... 641 00:42:59,115 --> 00:43:00,377 I didn't know you were coming in today. 642 00:43:00,450 --> 00:43:02,509 Lawrence is taking us to lunch at Cipriani. 643 00:43:03,353 --> 00:43:04,547 That's nice. 644 00:43:04,788 --> 00:43:07,780 Lawrence, can I leave Cuba here? He doesn't like Italian food. 645 00:43:07,857 --> 00:43:10,348 Of course you can. He can stay in my office. 646 00:43:10,694 --> 00:43:14,061 Sidney, fetch Cuba a bowl of water. 647 00:43:14,164 --> 00:43:16,189 - Will you? - Of course. 648 00:43:23,340 --> 00:43:25,365 That is a lovely ring. 649 00:43:26,009 --> 00:43:29,843 - Where is that from? - It was my mother's. She gave it to me. 650 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:34,041 You sweetie. That is very, very... 651 00:43:35,685 --> 00:43:36,982 So, listen. 652 00:43:38,421 --> 00:43:41,083 You've met Vincent Lepak, haven't you, Sidney? 653 00:43:41,191 --> 00:43:42,818 - Yeah. - Yeah. 654 00:43:42,892 --> 00:43:45,759 See, he has a new movie coming out soon, 655 00:43:45,862 --> 00:43:49,491 and Lawrence is overstretched as it is. 656 00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:53,391 How would you like to do the feature on him? 657 00:43:55,872 --> 00:43:58,500 Yeah, I would, actually. Yes, I'd like that very much. 658 00:43:58,575 --> 00:44:00,008 Well, great. 659 00:44:01,611 --> 00:44:04,341 Maybe we can get together and discuss the angle. 660 00:44:04,414 --> 00:44:05,438 Okay. 661 00:44:07,217 --> 00:44:08,946 What do you mean, "angle"? 662 00:44:10,053 --> 00:44:12,647 Well, I'd need to know how we're going to present Vincent. 663 00:44:12,722 --> 00:44:14,917 You know, check the story and so on. 664 00:44:16,092 --> 00:44:18,390 Are you saying you want copy approval? 665 00:44:19,029 --> 00:44:21,395 Any stories written about my clients 666 00:44:21,464 --> 00:44:24,194 need to be in their best interest, that's all. 667 00:44:24,801 --> 00:44:27,531 I mean, if things work out with Vincent, 668 00:44:27,937 --> 00:44:30,963 maybe we can talk about a follow-up story on Sophie. 669 00:44:32,442 --> 00:44:34,103 What do you think? 670 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,371 I'm sorry, Eleanor, I don't work that way. 671 00:44:41,384 --> 00:44:43,716 Sidney, dear... 672 00:44:44,454 --> 00:44:48,049 Think of it like this. You write about one of my clients, 673 00:44:48,825 --> 00:44:51,293 you are borrowing some of their starlight 674 00:44:51,394 --> 00:44:53,385 to help sell your magazine. 675 00:44:53,797 --> 00:44:55,890 All I'm saying is quid pro quo. 676 00:44:57,100 --> 00:44:59,227 Sorry. "Starlight"? 677 00:45:09,579 --> 00:45:13,037 I just don't usually eat carbs. It's delicious. 678 00:45:22,959 --> 00:45:26,292 Hello, Cuba. Hello. 679 00:45:27,263 --> 00:45:31,324 It's Uncle Sidney. Come to see how you are. Yes. 680 00:45:32,302 --> 00:45:33,667 What's this? 681 00:45:34,304 --> 00:45:36,204 Would you like a little play? Would you like a little play? 682 00:45:37,507 --> 00:45:39,771 Would you like a little play? 683 00:45:40,110 --> 00:45:41,202 Fetch. 684 00:45:41,778 --> 00:45:44,303 There you go. That's it. That's it. 685 00:45:44,981 --> 00:45:47,609 Well done. Well done. 686 00:45:48,184 --> 00:45:50,277 You and me are going to be pals, aren't we? 687 00:45:50,353 --> 00:45:52,651 Yes, we're going to be pals, yes. 688 00:45:52,722 --> 00:45:54,314 You're going to like me much, much better 689 00:45:54,390 --> 00:45:57,291 than that prick Maddox, aren't you? Yes, you are. Yes, you are. 690 00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,487 Okay. Ready? Ready? 691 00:46:06,369 --> 00:46:08,394 Oh, no! 692 00:46:36,399 --> 00:46:37,866 Come on! 693 00:46:39,169 --> 00:46:42,366 Shit! Come on! Come on! 694 00:46:42,438 --> 00:46:43,837 That's my bag. 695 00:46:44,507 --> 00:46:45,974 Yeah, I was going to borrow it for a second. 696 00:46:46,042 --> 00:46:47,168 What are you talking about? 697 00:46:47,243 --> 00:46:49,108 I'll bring it right back. I was just going to put... 698 00:46:49,179 --> 00:46:50,510 - Give me my bag. - Just let me borrow it. 699 00:46:50,580 --> 00:46:52,605 No. Give me my bag. 700 00:46:52,715 --> 00:46:54,182 Give me my... 701 00:46:54,517 --> 00:46:56,178 Oh, my God! 702 00:46:58,955 --> 00:47:00,946 - It was an accident. - What did you do? 703 00:47:01,024 --> 00:47:03,857 I was trying to make friends, and then it was... 704 00:47:03,927 --> 00:47:06,327 Don't tell her. Okay, just please don't tell her. 705 00:47:06,396 --> 00:47:08,091 Cuba! 706 00:47:08,198 --> 00:47:09,995 Sorry, have you seen this little Chihuahua... 707 00:47:10,066 --> 00:47:11,624 Fucking heck! 708 00:47:13,403 --> 00:47:15,530 Cuba? Cuba? 709 00:47:15,605 --> 00:47:17,596 Cuba? Cuba! 710 00:47:17,707 --> 00:47:19,538 What are you doing? 711 00:47:20,443 --> 00:47:22,570 - You just can't... Alison? 712 00:47:23,713 --> 00:47:26,375 - Have you seen Cuba? - What? 713 00:47:26,449 --> 00:47:28,440 Have you seen Sophie's dog? 714 00:47:28,518 --> 00:47:30,076 Oh, uh... 715 00:47:34,057 --> 00:47:35,547 No. No idea. 716 00:47:35,625 --> 00:47:36,887 Well, come and help us find him. 717 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,224 Don't worry. He couldn't have gone too far. 718 00:47:39,295 --> 00:47:41,320 Cuba! Cuba! 719 00:47:56,512 --> 00:47:59,913 - Clayton, have you got a minute? - Did they find that rat yet? 720 00:48:00,516 --> 00:48:01,744 I don't... 721 00:48:02,352 --> 00:48:06,083 No, not yet. It probably just got out the building. 722 00:48:07,323 --> 00:48:09,883 Congratulations on the Man of the Year thing. 723 00:48:10,193 --> 00:48:12,423 - How was lunch? - I don't know. 724 00:48:12,495 --> 00:48:15,362 $1,000 a plate, all I could taste was ass. 725 00:48:15,465 --> 00:48:18,195 I'm kissing their ass. They're kissing my ass. 726 00:48:18,868 --> 00:48:20,995 I get this dream sometimes. 727 00:48:22,138 --> 00:48:25,005 Someone's set fire to the building. 728 00:48:25,942 --> 00:48:29,105 Heywood, Sharps magazine, the whole thing up in flames. 729 00:48:29,879 --> 00:48:32,541 My analyst, he thinks it's an anxiety dream. 730 00:48:34,384 --> 00:48:38,218 I never let him know how happy I am watching the fucker burn. 731 00:48:40,023 --> 00:48:41,251 What do you want? 732 00:48:41,324 --> 00:48:43,986 I want to write a story about Vincent Lepak, okay? 733 00:48:44,060 --> 00:48:46,426 Not a puff piece. Something funny, with teeth. 734 00:48:46,496 --> 00:48:48,555 Like Snipe would have done. 735 00:48:49,332 --> 00:48:50,424 Everyone's treating him 736 00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:52,434 like he's some sort of a genius and he's not. He's an idiot. 737 00:48:52,502 --> 00:48:54,470 Look at these things. 738 00:48:54,537 --> 00:48:57,802 How'd I get a closet full of blue fucking shirts? 739 00:48:58,241 --> 00:48:59,640 I don't know. 740 00:48:59,842 --> 00:49:01,400 I don't know, either. 741 00:49:02,211 --> 00:49:04,975 This is an office, for God's sake. 742 00:49:05,381 --> 00:49:07,906 Why have I even got a fucking closet? 743 00:49:14,490 --> 00:49:15,650 Do it. 744 00:49:15,725 --> 00:49:17,522 - Do it? - Fuck it, yeah. 745 00:49:17,593 --> 00:49:20,187 Do it. He's an annoying little prick. 746 00:49:20,897 --> 00:49:22,728 We'll take him down. 747 00:49:24,434 --> 00:49:27,028 - This is your shot. - Thanks, Clayton. 748 00:49:27,236 --> 00:49:30,034 - You're my little hit man. - Yeah, I am your little hit man. 749 00:49:30,106 --> 00:49:31,698 - Go do it. - Okay. 750 00:49:34,410 --> 00:49:35,934 Hey, you could call me the Jackal. 751 00:49:36,012 --> 00:49:37,343 - Out! - Okay. 752 00:50:41,677 --> 00:50:43,907 - Mr. Young? - Yes. 753 00:50:43,980 --> 00:50:47,541 I'm Sophie Maes' assistant. I'm afraid Sophie isn't here right now. 754 00:50:47,617 --> 00:50:49,448 Yeah. Well, I know she's here, okay? 755 00:50:49,519 --> 00:50:53,182 I'm not a stalker. I just know she's upset because she lost her dog. 756 00:50:53,256 --> 00:50:54,746 She isn't here. 757 00:50:54,824 --> 00:50:58,590 All right, well, can you please just find out if she got my present? 758 00:50:58,661 --> 00:50:59,821 Okay... 759 00:51:00,963 --> 00:51:03,431 Did you send the flowers? 760 00:51:03,499 --> 00:51:06,730 Flowers? Yeah, 'cause she doesn't get enough flowers, does she? 761 00:51:06,803 --> 00:51:08,532 I sent the fish. 762 00:51:08,871 --> 00:51:09,895 Oh. 763 00:51:10,807 --> 00:51:13,867 You know, goldfish, in a bowl. Did she get them? 764 00:51:14,977 --> 00:51:17,502 Yes, but they were dead. 765 00:51:20,550 --> 00:51:24,042 - All of them? - Yeah. It was kind of shocking, actually. 766 00:51:24,854 --> 00:51:26,321 Were they dead when you sent them? 767 00:51:27,457 --> 00:51:29,516 No! Who sends people dead fish? 768 00:51:31,494 --> 00:51:32,893 The Mafia. 769 00:51:38,468 --> 00:51:40,129 Oh, my God. 770 00:51:40,903 --> 00:51:44,498 - You're, like, a serial killer. - No, no, no. That wasn't me. 771 00:51:44,874 --> 00:51:47,240 Look, I laid him to rest. 772 00:51:48,177 --> 00:51:49,201 Cuba. 773 00:51:49,312 --> 00:51:53,248 - I took him out to the... - I don't want to know! 774 00:51:53,716 --> 00:51:56,184 - You might not want your bag back. - Stop. 775 00:51:56,252 --> 00:52:00,746 Sorry. Also, just the whole, you know, not telling them thing. 776 00:52:00,857 --> 00:52:02,484 I just wanted to say... 777 00:52:02,825 --> 00:52:03,883 I appreciate that 778 00:52:03,993 --> 00:52:05,790 because you didn't have to do it. And a lot of people probably 779 00:52:05,862 --> 00:52:08,831 wouldn't have done it, but... Why didn't you? 780 00:52:09,031 --> 00:52:11,761 You don't need my help to screw up here, Sidney. 781 00:52:11,868 --> 00:52:14,166 I mean, the only thing you make are mistakes. 782 00:52:14,237 --> 00:52:16,262 And stains. 783 00:52:17,673 --> 00:52:19,038 May I help you? 784 00:52:19,509 --> 00:52:21,534 Just a couple of straws, please. 785 00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,646 Hey, listen. Let me ask you, what is it with this book? 786 00:52:26,716 --> 00:52:30,277 You're always writing in it. What is it, like a diary? Am I in it? 787 00:52:30,686 --> 00:52:33,621 It's a novel I'm working on. All right? 788 00:52:33,723 --> 00:52:35,714 - Wow. - Yeah, go ahead, I know. 789 00:52:35,791 --> 00:52:37,850 - I'm a walking cliche. - No, not at all. 790 00:52:37,927 --> 00:52:39,189 That's very impressive. 791 00:52:39,262 --> 00:52:41,628 - And you're writing that by hand? - Yeah. 792 00:52:41,731 --> 00:52:45,963 It's... I don't know, it keeps it separate from the magazine work. 793 00:52:46,068 --> 00:52:47,695 Makes it seem special. 794 00:52:49,205 --> 00:52:50,672 You're full of surprises, sister. 795 00:52:52,408 --> 00:52:54,968 White Russian. Are you waiting for your boyfriend? 796 00:52:55,044 --> 00:52:57,706 Yeah, he'll be here soon, so... 797 00:52:58,214 --> 00:53:01,308 What does he do, this mystery guy? Is he like a hack, too? 798 00:53:01,384 --> 00:53:06,253 - Actually, he's a poet. - Oh, is he? What does he look like? 799 00:53:06,322 --> 00:53:07,550 - What? - Well, you know, poets, 800 00:53:07,623 --> 00:53:09,386 they're not known for being that good-Iooking, 801 00:53:09,458 --> 00:53:12,518 'cause they're always in dark rooms and they look like Gollum and... 802 00:53:12,595 --> 00:53:14,324 - He's probably... - He's very handsome. 803 00:53:14,397 --> 00:53:16,228 - Thank you. - Of course he is. 804 00:53:17,133 --> 00:53:18,691 You know what I don't understand? 805 00:53:18,768 --> 00:53:20,395 You're so desperate to get a story in the magazine, 806 00:53:20,469 --> 00:53:23,996 so why wouldn't you play ball with Eleanor? Write the puff piece? 807 00:53:24,106 --> 00:53:28,509 Well, I just resent being bribed to gush sycophantically about a star. 808 00:53:28,611 --> 00:53:30,670 I choose to gush sycophantically. 809 00:53:31,247 --> 00:53:33,078 - Okay. - Anyway, Clayton's given me a story, 810 00:53:33,149 --> 00:53:35,845 - so I'm on my way. - Well, that's good. 811 00:53:35,952 --> 00:53:37,749 ANNOUNCER ON TV.; ...after these messages. 812 00:53:37,820 --> 00:53:42,154 In a world where passion is forbidden and belief divine, 813 00:53:42,258 --> 00:53:46,319 the love she withheld from a man she gave to all mankind. 814 00:53:46,429 --> 00:53:50,195 WOMAN ON TV.; You've given yourself to Christ, my child. 815 00:53:50,299 --> 00:53:52,597 But I love him. 816 00:53:52,668 --> 00:53:54,465 How can it be wrong? 817 00:53:55,271 --> 00:53:58,172 I believe in love. That is all we have. 818 00:53:58,274 --> 00:54:01,141 And we must give it wherever it is most needed. 819 00:54:01,210 --> 00:54:04,111 ANNOUNCER ON TV.; Sometimes, before you can find God, 820 00:54:04,180 --> 00:54:06,648 you have to find the world. 821 00:54:06,716 --> 00:54:07,876 Calcutta. 822 00:54:07,984 --> 00:54:10,509 Stand up, Mother Teresa. 823 00:54:11,387 --> 00:54:14,288 ANNOUNCER ON TV.; Sophie Maes is Mother Teresa 824 00:54:14,357 --> 00:54:16,951 in The Making of a Saint. 825 00:54:17,326 --> 00:54:19,453 Coming soon to a theater near you. 826 00:54:21,497 --> 00:54:26,366 Anyway, I better shoot off, leave you in peace with your poet. 827 00:54:26,702 --> 00:54:28,169 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 828 00:54:30,306 --> 00:54:32,240 I've still got the receipt, so... 829 00:54:41,484 --> 00:54:44,476 Which makes it a half a page left. 830 00:54:45,221 --> 00:54:47,246 Lawrence, any ideas? 831 00:54:47,356 --> 00:54:49,256 Yeah. Rachel Petkoff. 832 00:54:49,992 --> 00:54:51,892 Fabulous '70s actress. 833 00:54:51,994 --> 00:54:54,189 One of my all-time favorites. 834 00:54:54,263 --> 00:54:57,721 Just made a movie called Five Boroughs. 835 00:54:57,833 --> 00:55:00,358 I think she's poised for a comeback. 836 00:55:00,503 --> 00:55:03,336 And I think we should get there first. Do a piece. 837 00:55:03,506 --> 00:55:05,599 Sounds good. Let's do it. 838 00:55:06,075 --> 00:55:08,066 Okay, that's it, people. 839 00:55:10,079 --> 00:55:11,205 Clayton. 840 00:55:11,947 --> 00:55:13,005 What? 841 00:55:13,082 --> 00:55:15,550 Did you read my piece on Vincent Lepak? 842 00:55:16,352 --> 00:55:18,547 What? Yeah, that... 843 00:55:20,523 --> 00:55:21,990 That's not going to work. 844 00:55:22,058 --> 00:55:25,357 And for those of you who haven't heard, 845 00:55:25,428 --> 00:55:28,124 Alison will be running the "I Spy" section from now on 846 00:55:28,197 --> 00:55:30,961 as Lawrence here is moving up in the world. 847 00:55:31,067 --> 00:55:33,934 He's replacing Greg Roberts as deputy editor. 848 00:55:42,378 --> 00:55:44,278 Way to go, Lawrence. - Thanks. 849 00:55:44,914 --> 00:55:46,006 Congratulations. 850 00:55:46,082 --> 00:55:48,243 Hey, I'm sorry, Rachel Petkoff is one of your favorite actresses? 851 00:55:48,317 --> 00:55:51,218 You'd never fucking heard of her. That was my idea. 852 00:55:51,287 --> 00:55:53,050 Well, so it was, yes. 853 00:55:54,957 --> 00:55:57,016 If you have any more good ideas, don't forget to bring them 854 00:55:57,093 --> 00:55:58,583 by my new office. 855 00:56:02,465 --> 00:56:05,161 By the way, there have been complaints 856 00:56:05,267 --> 00:56:07,235 about you skulking around the water cooler, 857 00:56:07,303 --> 00:56:08,565 trying to talk to women. 858 00:56:08,637 --> 00:56:10,901 - I mean, that's inappropriate behavior. - What? 859 00:56:10,973 --> 00:56:12,873 You spend your life chatting up the staff. 860 00:56:12,942 --> 00:56:14,876 When I do it, it's called flirting. 861 00:56:14,944 --> 00:56:17,003 When you do it, it's called sexual harassment. 862 00:56:17,079 --> 00:56:21,573 Consider this an official warning. I will not tolerate sexist behavior. 863 00:56:31,327 --> 00:56:33,727 I know that wasn't Greg's way of working, 864 00:56:33,796 --> 00:56:38,358 but Greg isn't deputy editor anymore. I am. 865 00:56:39,635 --> 00:56:42,035 And I am making changes. 866 00:56:45,508 --> 00:56:47,339 - What? - Hi, Lawrence. 867 00:56:47,443 --> 00:56:50,139 There's a lady here that's been looking for you. 868 00:56:50,713 --> 00:56:53,113 - Can I help you? - Are you Lawrence Maddox? 869 00:56:53,182 --> 00:56:55,446 - The new deputy editor? - Yes. 870 00:56:55,518 --> 00:56:58,351 I'm here to congratulate you on your promotion. 871 00:56:58,454 --> 00:57:00,945 Thank you. I'm sorry, you are? 872 00:57:02,792 --> 00:57:04,384 I'm your present. 873 00:57:06,228 --> 00:57:08,423 Lawrence, this is inappropriate behavior, 874 00:57:08,497 --> 00:57:09,555 wouldn't you say? 875 00:57:09,632 --> 00:57:12,032 This is wrong. I should record this. 876 00:57:12,134 --> 00:57:13,465 Such a misuse of company time. 877 00:57:13,536 --> 00:57:15,401 - Sidney, stop. - I'm not doing anything. 878 00:57:15,805 --> 00:57:17,534 Holy Christ! 879 00:57:18,908 --> 00:57:20,773 - Hey, Mrs. Harding. - Hi, Ingrid. 880 00:57:20,843 --> 00:57:23,505 Oh, my God. So adorable. 881 00:57:23,646 --> 00:57:25,443 This is Ingrid from the fashion department. 882 00:57:25,514 --> 00:57:28,312 - You're getting so big. - Where's Mr. Maddox now? 883 00:57:28,651 --> 00:57:30,084 He moved to Room 217. 884 00:57:30,152 --> 00:57:32,484 - It's just over there. - Okay. 885 00:57:32,555 --> 00:57:33,988 - Bye. - Bye. Come on, girls. 886 00:57:34,056 --> 00:57:35,751 Let's go see Mr. Maddox. 887 00:57:36,225 --> 00:57:38,887 My God! My Lord above! 888 00:57:38,994 --> 00:57:41,827 This is terrible. Oh, good Lord! 889 00:57:44,233 --> 00:57:47,828 There's a surprise. Look at his face. Wow! 890 00:57:48,537 --> 00:57:50,027 What do you think... 891 00:57:52,741 --> 00:57:54,174 Mrs. Harding. 892 00:57:55,010 --> 00:57:56,170 Girls. 893 00:57:57,112 --> 00:57:58,704 Bobbie. - What? 894 00:58:10,192 --> 00:58:11,887 I've got cock on my hand. 895 00:58:12,628 --> 00:58:14,653 I see what you're saying. Whatever you like. There's gonna be 896 00:58:14,730 --> 00:58:17,358 - plenty of time before we lock it in... - That's great. 897 00:58:17,433 --> 00:58:20,994 ...so if you want to change it... - All right. Love to hear that. 898 00:58:27,776 --> 00:58:29,073 Get in. 899 00:58:34,283 --> 00:58:36,547 I didn't know it was Take Our Daughters to Work Day. 900 00:58:36,619 --> 00:58:38,678 I didn't know there was a Take Our Daughters to Work Day. 901 00:58:38,754 --> 00:58:40,119 Shut up. 902 00:58:42,658 --> 00:58:48,062 You know, when I told my wife I'd hired another Brit, she was excited. 903 00:58:48,130 --> 00:58:51,395 She still thinks you're all like something out of Pride And Prejudice. 904 00:58:51,467 --> 00:58:53,401 But after what she just saw in that room, 905 00:58:53,469 --> 00:58:58,133 now she thinks you're a British person born in New Jersey. 906 00:59:00,409 --> 00:59:03,901 - Why did I hire you? - I don't know. Why did you hire me? 907 00:59:04,947 --> 00:59:09,281 I had an attack of nostalgia. But it's passed. Like gas. 908 00:59:09,919 --> 00:59:12,012 - What was wrong with my story? - What? 909 00:59:12,087 --> 00:59:13,748 Why did you kill my Vincent Lepak story? 910 00:59:13,822 --> 00:59:16,256 Sidney, it wasn't good enough. Simple as that. 911 00:59:16,325 --> 00:59:17,519 Wasn't good enough? 912 00:59:17,593 --> 00:59:19,686 - We don't do hatchet jobs here. - Come on. 913 00:59:19,762 --> 00:59:22,253 - It wasn't a hatchet job. - Your opening quotation, 914 00:59:22,331 --> 00:59:24,697 "It's only too easy to catch people's attention 915 00:59:24,767 --> 00:59:29,101 "by doing something worse than anyone else has dared do it before." 916 00:59:29,171 --> 00:59:31,571 Who are you thinking of here? Yourself or Vincent? 917 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,631 He is a talentless, pretentious little twat, 918 00:59:33,709 --> 00:59:35,574 who thinks that cinema began with Tarantino. 919 00:59:35,644 --> 00:59:38,306 And somebody needed to say that. You told me to do something with teeth. 920 00:59:38,380 --> 00:59:42,146 I'm trying to run a fucking magazine here. 921 00:59:43,185 --> 00:59:46,951 "A free press is the last defense against the tyranny of stupidity." 922 00:59:47,022 --> 00:59:49,286 Save me your tin-pot philosophy. 923 00:59:49,358 --> 00:59:52,657 It's not mine. It's yours. First issue of Snipe. 924 00:59:54,163 --> 00:59:56,324 Would you grow the fuck up? 925 00:59:56,398 --> 00:59:59,492 You are not Robin Hood. You never were. 926 01:00:00,469 --> 01:00:02,164 You bitch about famous people 927 01:00:02,237 --> 01:00:04,671 for the same reason I used to bitch about them. 928 01:00:04,740 --> 01:00:08,232 Because they got invited to the party and you didn't. 929 01:00:08,344 --> 01:00:11,404 Well, Sidney, you're at the party now. 930 01:00:12,648 --> 01:00:15,378 Quit your bitching and do your fucking job. 931 01:00:17,052 --> 01:00:19,520 You're on your last life here. Do you understand that? 932 01:00:19,588 --> 01:00:22,421 One more fuck-up like today, you are gone. 933 01:00:25,060 --> 01:00:28,496 Won't you have to run a decision like that past Eleanor first? 934 01:00:29,732 --> 01:00:31,029 Get out. 935 01:00:46,015 --> 01:00:48,643 I can't believe you hired Bob as a stripper. 936 01:00:48,717 --> 01:00:50,878 I didn't hire him. She did it as a favor. 937 01:00:50,953 --> 01:00:53,217 I thought you wanted to be a success here. 938 01:00:53,288 --> 01:00:58,692 I do. It wasn't me. It was Clark. Oh, your alias, right. 939 01:01:00,896 --> 01:01:03,626 I don't think Clayton's going to publish anything I write, you know? 940 01:01:03,699 --> 01:01:05,690 I've been on salary for four months now, 941 01:01:05,768 --> 01:01:09,295 and I've written probably 175 words. 942 01:01:09,405 --> 01:01:11,134 I think, dollar-per-words basis, 943 01:01:11,206 --> 01:01:14,369 I am the highest-paid writer in the history of this magazine. 944 01:01:14,443 --> 01:01:16,809 He's not going to renew my contract. 945 01:01:16,912 --> 01:01:19,779 Well, what do you expect? 946 01:01:19,882 --> 01:01:21,679 I mean, Vincent's one of Eleanor's clients. 947 01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:23,581 I told you, they're untouchables. 948 01:01:23,652 --> 01:01:26,018 I just thought Clayton was different, you know? I really did. 949 01:01:26,088 --> 01:01:27,749 The only thing I'm good at is pissing people off 950 01:01:27,823 --> 01:01:29,814 and he won't even let me do that. 951 01:01:29,892 --> 01:01:32,383 "My glory walks hand in hand with my doom." 952 01:01:33,829 --> 01:01:35,160 Troy. 953 01:01:36,098 --> 01:01:38,430 - Troy who? - Troy the movie. 954 01:01:41,236 --> 01:01:43,727 Clayton only invited me here, so I could be shunned. 955 01:01:43,806 --> 01:01:45,501 Everybody hates me. 956 01:01:45,974 --> 01:01:47,703 You're the only one that will talk to me. 957 01:01:47,776 --> 01:01:50,006 - You cornered me. - I'm serious. 958 01:01:51,780 --> 01:01:53,509 Do you want another drink? 959 01:01:54,083 --> 01:01:56,278 Yeah, I'll have a half of lager. 960 01:02:12,968 --> 01:02:14,663 Sophie, darling! 961 01:02:16,972 --> 01:02:18,633 Ravishing as ever. 962 01:02:20,476 --> 01:02:21,568 We were just talking. 963 01:02:21,643 --> 01:02:23,543 Did you all know that Lawrence published a book of poetry? 964 01:02:23,612 --> 01:02:24,909 No. - Called The Hollow Heart. 965 01:02:24,980 --> 01:02:28,609 - You write poems? - In another lifetime. You know, dabble. 966 01:02:29,017 --> 01:02:31,485 - Cointreau? - Right here. Thank you. 967 01:02:32,321 --> 01:02:34,516 - And the White Russian? Right here. 968 01:02:35,991 --> 01:02:38,084 Well, well, if it isn't Sidalee. 969 01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,651 What time does the stripper come on? 970 01:02:42,865 --> 01:02:44,492 Shut up, Maddox. 971 01:02:46,301 --> 01:02:48,826 Where's your sense of humor, Sidney? 972 01:02:55,377 --> 01:02:58,175 Choke! Choke! 973 01:02:59,148 --> 01:03:01,412 Choke! Choke! 974 01:03:02,518 --> 01:03:05,544 Choke! Choke! 975 01:03:07,856 --> 01:03:09,483 Hi, Mrs. Harding. 976 01:03:13,162 --> 01:03:14,186 Hi. 977 01:03:16,331 --> 01:03:18,526 Lovely party. Happy Fourth! 978 01:03:21,937 --> 01:03:23,063 Jesus! 979 01:03:23,939 --> 01:03:27,875 Has anyone ever told you before that you have an unusually dark aura? 980 01:03:28,177 --> 01:03:29,235 Yes. 981 01:03:30,712 --> 01:03:33,374 You should walk with bare feet as much as possible. 982 01:03:33,448 --> 01:03:35,939 Ground all that negative energy. 983 01:03:37,553 --> 01:03:39,714 What are you, a wizard or what? 984 01:03:39,855 --> 01:03:43,222 - I'm a spiritual healer. - Can you make a living out of that? 985 01:03:44,693 --> 01:03:47,184 Oh, God, no. I'm a dentist. 986 01:03:50,566 --> 01:03:52,557 You want to do some coke? 987 01:03:57,739 --> 01:04:01,072 Yankee Doodle went to town 988 01:04:01,143 --> 01:04:04,306 Riding on a pony 989 01:04:04,746 --> 01:04:07,909 Stuck a feather in his cap 990 01:04:07,983 --> 01:04:11,282 And called it macaroni 991 01:04:11,386 --> 01:04:14,549 Yankee Doodle, keep it up 992 01:04:14,623 --> 01:04:18,320 England! England! England! 993 01:04:18,794 --> 01:04:22,628 England! England! England! 994 01:04:22,831 --> 01:04:27,734 England! Oi, Orlando! You used to be English. 995 01:04:27,803 --> 01:04:30,931 England! England! England! 996 01:04:31,006 --> 01:04:33,941 England! England! 997 01:04:34,009 --> 01:04:35,101 Fuck! 998 01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:53,359 You okay? 999 01:04:53,462 --> 01:04:55,862 - What? - I said, are you okay? 1000 01:04:55,964 --> 01:04:57,522 Yeah, I'm fine. 1001 01:04:58,200 --> 01:04:59,531 - You? - Yeah. 1002 01:05:00,836 --> 01:05:03,600 No, actually, I'm not. I hate my life, so, you know, 1003 01:05:03,672 --> 01:05:04,900 I'm going to get drunk. 1004 01:05:04,973 --> 01:05:07,339 Right, well... I'll see you, then. 1005 01:05:11,613 --> 01:05:13,444 - How could you? - What? 1006 01:05:13,515 --> 01:05:15,346 How the... You and Maddox having an affair! 1007 01:05:16,551 --> 01:05:19,281 For Christ's sake! The man with hidden shallows! 1008 01:05:19,988 --> 01:05:22,183 I used to think... I just thought... 1009 01:05:23,025 --> 01:05:24,549 When I met you, I thought you were bit of a pain, 1010 01:05:24,626 --> 01:05:27,686 but I was really... God damn it! Maddox! 1011 01:05:27,996 --> 01:05:30,328 How can you live with yourself? 1012 01:05:30,866 --> 01:05:33,164 I couldn't. That's why I've broken up with him. 1013 01:05:33,235 --> 01:05:35,635 That's no... You broke up with him? 1014 01:05:42,644 --> 01:05:44,669 - Which leg did you hurt? - This one. 1015 01:05:45,814 --> 01:05:48,214 God! Fuck! God. 1016 01:06:08,270 --> 01:06:09,567 You know what? 1017 01:06:10,539 --> 01:06:12,871 There's something very damaged about you. 1018 01:06:16,445 --> 01:06:21,041 Like an animal that's been hit by a car or something. 1019 01:06:22,951 --> 01:06:24,714 Like a deer 1020 01:06:26,755 --> 01:06:29,053 or like a pig, maybe. 1021 01:06:30,258 --> 01:06:32,055 And they walk all funny, 1022 01:06:33,562 --> 01:06:36,053 and the other animals keep away from them. 1023 01:06:39,201 --> 01:06:42,102 Little, limpy pig. 1024 01:06:50,245 --> 01:06:52,304 I'm drawn to sick animals. 1025 01:06:53,815 --> 01:06:55,942 That's why I picked Cuba. 1026 01:06:57,285 --> 01:07:01,415 Because he had, like, psychological problems. 1027 01:07:05,627 --> 01:07:07,595 Poor little Cuba. 1028 01:07:09,131 --> 01:07:10,792 Where is he now? 1029 01:07:13,468 --> 01:07:17,632 Jesus, I'm wasted. Are you wasted? Because I'm really wasted. 1030 01:07:18,006 --> 01:07:19,633 I slept it off. 1031 01:07:21,810 --> 01:07:25,337 Congratulations on becoming incredibly famous, by the way. 1032 01:07:25,814 --> 01:07:27,076 Thanks. 1033 01:07:27,616 --> 01:07:29,982 - What's that like? - Weird. 1034 01:07:31,420 --> 01:07:33,786 It's all happening so fast, 1035 01:07:34,656 --> 01:07:37,750 and it sort of feels like it has nothing to do with me. 1036 01:07:38,460 --> 01:07:41,987 Kind of like I'm not really even here. 1037 01:07:52,007 --> 01:07:54,168 You know what would be nice, though? 1038 01:07:56,311 --> 01:07:57,710 Some coke. 1039 01:08:01,049 --> 01:08:03,984 It's probably just as well I don't have any, though. 1040 01:08:06,321 --> 01:08:08,721 Coke always makes me so horny. 1041 01:08:13,528 --> 01:08:15,894 Wizard! I need the wizard dentist! 1042 01:08:15,997 --> 01:08:18,295 I need the wizard... Not you. 1043 01:08:18,366 --> 01:08:20,459 The dentist wizard. 1044 01:08:20,702 --> 01:08:24,570 The wizard, have you seen him? He's like a wizard/dentist. 1045 01:08:27,375 --> 01:08:29,570 - Okay, all right. You got it. - Thank you! 1046 01:08:29,644 --> 01:08:31,373 Thank you so much. 1047 01:08:31,480 --> 01:08:32,811 It's okay. 1048 01:08:36,651 --> 01:08:40,212 I will never, never, never forget this. 1049 01:08:40,322 --> 01:08:41,880 It's okay. Really. 1050 01:08:48,563 --> 01:08:51,157 - What are you doing? - None of your business. 1051 01:08:51,233 --> 01:08:53,531 You can't drive like that, okay? Go just sleep it off. 1052 01:08:53,602 --> 01:08:57,094 Firstly, you are a stupid asshole and I hate you! 1053 01:08:57,205 --> 01:09:01,369 - And secondly, secondly... - Okay, okay, okay. 1054 01:09:01,443 --> 01:09:03,274 I hate you 'cause you're a stupid asshole. 1055 01:09:03,345 --> 01:09:05,939 Look, if you drive in this condition, you are going to kill yourself, okay? 1056 01:09:06,014 --> 01:09:09,506 I don't care if I did. I hate my life. 1057 01:09:10,552 --> 01:09:12,850 I got to go. I got to go. 1058 01:09:12,921 --> 01:09:15,685 - Just... Come on. Come here. - No, don't touch me. 1059 01:09:15,757 --> 01:09:19,215 I hate rental cars. I hate them. 1060 01:09:19,628 --> 01:09:23,257 No, give me the keys. I've got to go home. 1061 01:09:31,940 --> 01:09:34,636 I thought I had it all figured out. 1062 01:09:34,743 --> 01:09:38,201 A, get the hell out of Port Huron, come to New York. 1063 01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:42,876 B, do the serious journalism thing to pay the bills, while I write the novel. 1064 01:09:43,451 --> 01:09:45,419 C, win the Pulitzer. 1065 01:09:45,620 --> 01:09:47,110 - E. - D. 1066 01:09:47,923 --> 01:09:50,289 D, I don't know what D was. 1067 01:09:50,659 --> 01:09:53,389 Then I took the internship at Sharps and... 1068 01:09:54,763 --> 01:09:56,287 I met Maddox. 1069 01:09:58,066 --> 01:09:59,260 And then before you know it, 1070 01:09:59,334 --> 01:10:02,895 I'm writing Ten Tips for the Fucking Metrosexual 1071 01:10:02,971 --> 01:10:05,337 and pretending this is what I wanted. 1072 01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:07,670 - And that's why I hated you. - I didn't know you hated me. 1073 01:10:07,742 --> 01:10:11,178 You were right about me. I'm a ghoul writing fluff. 1074 01:10:11,279 --> 01:10:13,338 No, you're not a ghoul, okay? You're a zombie. 1075 01:10:13,415 --> 01:10:15,406 - A ghoul is like a ghost. - Fine. 1076 01:10:16,818 --> 01:10:18,786 I need a cigarette. Where are my cigarettes? 1077 01:10:18,853 --> 01:10:20,184 You don't smoke. 1078 01:10:21,656 --> 01:10:23,123 Oh, yeah. 1079 01:10:26,661 --> 01:10:29,357 When I told him I couldn't see him anymore, 1080 01:10:30,198 --> 01:10:31,961 I don't know if he cared. 1081 01:10:33,935 --> 01:10:36,426 I love him, and I don't know if he cares. 1082 01:10:40,342 --> 01:10:43,106 Look, I'm sure he does care, okay? 1083 01:10:43,178 --> 01:10:46,944 He's probably just not very good at expressing his emotions. 1084 01:10:48,650 --> 01:10:51,141 Okay, well, let's just calm down, okay? 1085 01:10:51,219 --> 01:10:53,779 Don't get snot everywhere, 'cause it's a rental. 1086 01:10:53,855 --> 01:10:55,186 Oh, God. 1087 01:10:55,957 --> 01:10:56,981 What? 1088 01:11:01,863 --> 01:11:03,455 That's grim! 1089 01:11:07,902 --> 01:11:09,893 No more steps, no. 1090 01:11:10,005 --> 01:11:13,566 Will you shut up? You're going to wake the old witch up. 1091 01:11:13,875 --> 01:11:16,400 No. Why are we stopping? 1092 01:11:16,511 --> 01:11:17,705 Hi. 1093 01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:22,145 - Did we wake you? Oh, God, I'm a whore! 1094 01:11:22,217 --> 01:11:24,708 I'm a whore! I'm a... 1095 01:11:26,221 --> 01:11:27,813 I'm a whore. 1096 01:11:28,490 --> 01:11:30,981 - I'm a whore! - Hello, Dad. 1097 01:11:44,039 --> 01:11:45,666 I love this song! 1098 01:11:47,509 --> 01:11:51,070 - She's not actually a prostitute. - Oh, good. 1099 01:11:56,418 --> 01:11:59,182 So, Sidney's dad. It's nice to meet you. 1100 01:11:59,254 --> 01:12:00,949 - I'm Alison. - Delighted to meet you. 1101 01:12:01,022 --> 01:12:03,547 - I'm from Port Huron. - Port Huron. 1102 01:12:03,625 --> 01:12:05,490 And you must be Sidney's mommy. 1103 01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:08,120 - No, I'm not! - Okay. 1104 01:12:08,229 --> 01:12:11,221 I mean, my dad remarried, too, so that's cool. 1105 01:12:11,599 --> 01:12:13,567 Where are my cigarettes? 1106 01:12:15,070 --> 01:12:16,594 What is this? 1107 01:12:18,406 --> 01:12:19,930 Hey, is this... 1108 01:12:20,575 --> 01:12:23,544 - I think it's probably cocaine. - Yeah, that... 1109 01:12:24,245 --> 01:12:28,614 It wasn't actually for me. I was going to give it to this young actress. 1110 01:12:30,552 --> 01:12:34,716 So, Mr. Sidney, what you doing here? 1111 01:12:35,457 --> 01:12:37,925 - Please, call me Richard. - Richard. 1112 01:12:37,992 --> 01:12:39,289 Well, I've 1113 01:12:39,928 --> 01:12:43,159 written a little book, and I'm doing some talks. 1114 01:12:43,264 --> 01:12:44,822 - I'm writing a book. - Yeah? 1115 01:12:44,899 --> 01:12:48,801 - What's yours about? - I write books on philosophy. 1116 01:12:48,903 --> 01:12:50,461 - Philosophy. - Ideas. 1117 01:12:50,572 --> 01:12:52,005 Oh, my God. 1118 01:12:52,974 --> 01:12:55,101 Richard Young? The... 1119 01:12:55,910 --> 01:12:57,741 You're R.C. Young? 1120 01:12:57,812 --> 01:13:00,144 You never said your dad was R.C. Young! 1121 01:13:00,248 --> 01:13:01,545 I brought you a copy of the book, Sidney. 1122 01:13:01,616 --> 01:13:03,243 I'd love to hear what you think. 1123 01:13:03,318 --> 01:13:05,115 What would Sidney know about philosophy? 1124 01:13:05,186 --> 01:13:07,950 He does have a master's in the subject. 1125 01:13:08,022 --> 01:13:09,580 You're shitting me! 1126 01:13:10,091 --> 01:13:12,787 He... He likes Con Air. 1127 01:13:16,831 --> 01:13:18,958 - I don't feel very good. - Come on. 1128 01:13:19,033 --> 01:13:21,160 - Time you were in bed. - Okay. 1129 01:13:21,836 --> 01:13:23,929 You can sleep on the couch. 1130 01:13:24,539 --> 01:13:27,337 It was a pleasure to meet you, Lord Young. 1131 01:13:30,178 --> 01:13:31,304 Lord? 1132 01:13:38,486 --> 01:13:40,249 You really should have said you were coming. 1133 01:13:40,321 --> 01:13:43,381 That would have required you answering one of my calls. 1134 01:13:44,225 --> 01:13:46,455 Yeah, well, I've been kind of busy. 1135 01:13:46,528 --> 01:13:48,155 Of course. Yes, I... 1136 01:13:48,830 --> 01:13:52,288 I picked up your magazine at the airport. Most enjoyable. 1137 01:13:52,367 --> 01:13:54,927 I particularly liked the young Hollywood actress 1138 01:13:55,003 --> 01:13:58,268 who said she would like to start her theater career somewhere small 1139 01:13:58,339 --> 01:14:01,137 like London or England. 1140 01:14:02,010 --> 01:14:04,672 - Why must you always do this? - It's just a little joke. 1141 01:14:04,746 --> 01:14:06,907 No, it's not a little joke, is it? 1142 01:14:07,015 --> 01:14:09,609 Basically, what you're saying is what I do is worthless. 1143 01:14:09,684 --> 01:14:10,810 I don't think it's worthless. 1144 01:14:10,885 --> 01:14:13,149 I just think that you know in your heart that you could be doing more 1145 01:14:13,221 --> 01:14:14,347 with your life. 1146 01:14:14,422 --> 01:14:15,514 More? 1147 01:14:15,590 --> 01:14:19,492 Sharps magazine is one of the most respected magazines in the world. 1148 01:14:19,561 --> 01:14:23,122 There's a million hacks that would give anything to be where I am. 1149 01:14:23,198 --> 01:14:26,895 Do you know who I hung out with just today? Orlando Bloom. 1150 01:14:28,570 --> 01:14:31,266 - I don't know who that is. - Of course you don't know who that is. 1151 01:14:31,339 --> 01:14:32,772 You don't know who anyone is. 1152 01:14:32,841 --> 01:14:35,309 You thought Brad Pitt was a cave in Yorkshire. 1153 01:14:35,376 --> 01:14:38,038 The thing is most people do know who that is, all right? 1154 01:14:38,112 --> 01:14:40,103 And most people wouldn't think a journalist hanging out 1155 01:14:40,181 --> 01:14:42,308 with celebrities like that was a disappointment. 1156 01:14:42,383 --> 01:14:44,783 I don't think you're a disappointment, Sidney. 1157 01:14:44,853 --> 01:14:46,787 I've never thought that. 1158 01:14:50,258 --> 01:14:51,919 I'm sorry. I... 1159 01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:54,619 I didn't mean to upset you. 1160 01:15:00,768 --> 01:15:03,794 Things haven't been that great, actually, Dad. 1161 01:15:04,405 --> 01:15:07,533 I don't know why. I can't seem to get ahead. 1162 01:15:09,310 --> 01:15:12,370 - Lf you're not happy... - No, I'm fine. 1163 01:15:12,447 --> 01:15:14,881 Really, I can make it. I know I can. 1164 01:15:18,152 --> 01:15:20,245 Einstein said, 1165 01:15:21,089 --> 01:15:23,717 "Try not to become a man of success, 1166 01:15:24,492 --> 01:15:27,620 "but rather to become a man of value." 1167 01:15:29,497 --> 01:15:31,931 Young lady in the bedroom there, Alison. 1168 01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:35,367 She wouldn't have anything to do with your desire to stay on, would she? 1169 01:15:35,436 --> 01:15:37,336 No, we're just friends. 1170 01:15:37,839 --> 01:15:40,706 Anyway, she says that New York women don't go for losers. 1171 01:15:40,775 --> 01:15:42,242 I suppose not. 1172 01:15:43,811 --> 01:15:46,336 But Alison is from Port Huron, isn't she? 1173 01:16:23,151 --> 01:16:27,110 I don't remember much from last night, but I'm so, so sorry. 1174 01:16:27,188 --> 01:16:29,383 Why? No... You were all right. 1175 01:16:30,191 --> 01:16:32,386 Oh, my God. Your father. 1176 01:16:33,661 --> 01:16:35,959 - And that woman. - Mrs. Kowalski? 1177 01:16:36,030 --> 01:16:38,726 Don't worry about it. The last woman she caught me with had a penis. 1178 01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:42,065 - So, you know, you're a big step up. - Thanks. 1179 01:16:47,141 --> 01:16:49,871 - Who is that? - That's my mother. 1180 01:16:50,645 --> 01:16:52,010 No way. 1181 01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,207 - Was she a model? - Actress. 1182 01:16:54,582 --> 01:16:57,483 - Is she still... - No. She died when I was young. 1183 01:17:02,190 --> 01:17:06,092 Must be pretty cool having your mom in a movie. 1184 01:17:06,561 --> 01:17:08,791 Well, I used to see her on the TV from time to time 1185 01:17:08,863 --> 01:17:09,989 when I was growing up. 1186 01:17:10,064 --> 01:17:12,430 You know, which is kind of weird. 1187 01:17:13,835 --> 01:17:17,931 Okay, full English fry-up. Perfect hangover cure. 1188 01:17:22,610 --> 01:17:23,599 Huh? 1189 01:17:24,846 --> 01:17:26,177 Not again! 1190 01:17:56,644 --> 01:17:59,636 Hi. I was just, you know... 1191 01:18:01,315 --> 01:18:03,977 Just rooting through your personal possessions. 1192 01:18:05,620 --> 01:18:07,986 - I like the opening. - You do? 1193 01:18:08,089 --> 01:18:10,182 Yeah. Can I read the rest of it? 1194 01:18:10,258 --> 01:18:11,885 Believe it or not, I am a pretty good editor. 1195 01:18:11,959 --> 01:18:15,360 I don't know. I don't even know if I'm going to bother finishing it. 1196 01:18:15,430 --> 01:18:18,627 Hey. "Keep true to the dreams of thy youth." 1197 01:18:18,733 --> 01:18:20,428 Is that Troy again? 1198 01:18:20,501 --> 01:18:21,968 It's Schiller. 1199 01:18:26,107 --> 01:18:29,907 I'm going to jump in the shower, and then I really will get out of your hair. 1200 01:18:29,977 --> 01:18:32,275 Well, wait, 'cause I... 1201 01:18:32,346 --> 01:18:34,075 I got you a present. 1202 01:18:34,849 --> 01:18:37,784 I was walking past this record shop on the corner and I saw it and thought, 1203 01:18:37,852 --> 01:18:40,150 you know, it might cheer you up, so... 1204 01:18:42,190 --> 01:18:44,420 You said it was your favorite film, so... 1205 01:18:44,492 --> 01:18:45,754 That is... 1206 01:18:47,795 --> 01:18:50,093 I don't even know what to say. 1207 01:18:53,434 --> 01:18:55,425 I don't have a turntable. 1208 01:18:57,305 --> 01:19:00,502 Well, you could always come round here and listen to it. 1209 01:19:14,689 --> 01:19:17,055 Are you kidding? I could throw up on you again. 1210 01:19:17,125 --> 01:19:19,286 Oh, come on. Come on! 1211 01:19:20,661 --> 01:19:22,561 There we go. 1212 01:19:24,665 --> 01:19:26,326 Come on, don't be shy. 1213 01:19:26,601 --> 01:19:28,159 I'm a great mover. 1214 01:20:00,001 --> 01:20:03,027 Hey, Alice? Versace. You like? 1215 01:20:03,538 --> 01:20:04,835 I'm good, thanks. 1216 01:20:04,906 --> 01:20:08,433 You know, honey, everybody needs to change their look every now and then. 1217 01:20:08,509 --> 01:20:10,841 Especially when they have a new man in their lives. 1218 01:20:10,912 --> 01:20:14,006 What? I'm... What are you talking about? 1219 01:20:14,081 --> 01:20:17,573 That English guy is always hanging around you these days, right? 1220 01:20:18,252 --> 01:20:19,913 Tell me it isn't so. 1221 01:20:20,021 --> 01:20:22,046 - Of course not. - Thank God! 1222 01:20:22,123 --> 01:20:24,591 Can you imagine? He's such a creep. 1223 01:20:26,294 --> 01:20:29,422 This is gorgeous, but I'm just too fat. 1224 01:20:29,530 --> 01:20:31,760 Don't be crazy. Alice? 1225 01:20:32,200 --> 01:20:33,394 Is Anna fat? 1226 01:20:33,467 --> 01:20:37,028 Not at all. Why, she's so thin I could take her little spindly body 1227 01:20:37,104 --> 01:20:39,902 and snap her over my knee like a dry fucking twig. 1228 01:20:40,575 --> 01:20:43,908 And, for your information, Sidney Young has more going for him 1229 01:20:43,978 --> 01:20:45,468 than anyone in this place. 1230 01:21:01,896 --> 01:21:03,887 It works. It works good. 1231 01:21:06,934 --> 01:21:08,265 Elephants. 1232 01:21:15,176 --> 01:21:18,475 Hey, Alison. I was wondering if... 1233 01:21:21,415 --> 01:21:23,781 Hey, Alison. I was wondering maybe if you wanted to go see a movie 1234 01:21:23,851 --> 01:21:25,682 or have a meal or... 1235 01:21:28,923 --> 01:21:30,322 Do you want to go on a date? 1236 01:21:33,094 --> 01:21:34,152 Might work. 1237 01:21:39,133 --> 01:21:43,001 Wake up in the morning with a head like what you done 1238 01:21:43,070 --> 01:21:47,473 This used to be the life, but I don't need another one 1239 01:21:47,541 --> 01:21:51,807 You like cutting up and carrying on you wear them gowns 1240 01:21:51,879 --> 01:21:53,278 Eleanor? 1241 01:21:54,782 --> 01:21:57,512 - Hello, Sidney. - I like your costume, Vincent. 1242 01:21:58,219 --> 01:22:00,278 - I'm not wearing a costume. - Oh. 1243 01:22:03,057 --> 01:22:04,615 - Idiot. - Wanker. 1244 01:22:05,660 --> 01:22:09,721 You'd better know when you're swinging round the room 1245 01:22:09,797 --> 01:22:12,322 Looks like magic's only ours tonight 1246 01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:14,265 - I'd better find Ed. - Okay, I'll see you. 1247 01:22:14,335 --> 01:22:16,360 - See you. - Clara Bow. 1248 01:22:16,837 --> 01:22:18,327 Louise Brooks. 1249 01:22:19,640 --> 01:22:20,664 Bela Lugosi? 1250 01:22:20,741 --> 01:22:23,175 - George Hamilton. - George Hamilton's not dead. 1251 01:22:23,244 --> 01:22:25,144 Isn't he? That's a shame. 1252 01:22:25,746 --> 01:22:27,145 I was looking for you, actually. 1253 01:22:27,214 --> 01:22:28,476 And I have something I wanted to tell you. 1254 01:22:28,549 --> 01:22:29,573 Me first. 1255 01:22:30,351 --> 01:22:31,909 I wanted to ask if maybe 1256 01:22:31,986 --> 01:22:34,614 you wanted to go and maybe go and see a movie, or go have something to eat. 1257 01:22:34,689 --> 01:22:35,713 What? 1258 01:22:35,823 --> 01:22:38,417 - I can't understand what you're saying. - I'm sorry. 1259 01:22:38,492 --> 01:22:40,016 Sorry. Yeah. 1260 01:22:40,094 --> 01:22:42,062 No, I just wanted to ask if... 1261 01:22:43,064 --> 01:22:44,998 - Back in a minute. - All right. 1262 01:22:49,837 --> 01:22:50,826 Uh... 1263 01:22:52,340 --> 01:22:54,501 I wanted to tell you that 1264 01:22:56,010 --> 01:22:57,534 Lawrence has left his wife. 1265 01:22:57,611 --> 01:23:01,342 - We're going to be together. Officially. - That... 1266 01:23:01,849 --> 01:23:03,407 That's brilliant. 1267 01:23:05,353 --> 01:23:08,049 - So maybe he does care after all, right? - Yeah. 1268 01:23:15,463 --> 01:23:17,055 I'm going to... 1269 01:23:33,748 --> 01:23:35,875 Yeah, and take the West Side Highway, please. 1270 01:23:35,950 --> 01:23:38,077 Eleanor! Wait! 1271 01:23:40,054 --> 01:23:42,249 Let me write the profile on Vincent. 1272 01:23:43,324 --> 01:23:44,791 I don't think so. 1273 01:23:44,892 --> 01:23:47,292 You can have complete copy approval. It will be like you wrote it. 1274 01:23:51,732 --> 01:23:54,166 Vincent, think about it, okay? Think about how humiliating 1275 01:23:54,235 --> 01:23:55,327 it will be for me, please. 1276 01:23:55,403 --> 01:23:58,304 - I am begging you. You... 1277 01:24:00,775 --> 01:24:02,902 You don't look like you're begging. 1278 01:24:15,356 --> 01:24:17,449 West Side Highway, please. 1279 01:24:51,225 --> 01:24:52,852 Sit down, Sidney. 1280 01:24:54,962 --> 01:24:58,955 Lawrence Maddox is no longer working for Sharps magazine. 1281 01:24:59,033 --> 01:25:02,730 Seems that Elizabeth got tired of him screwing around and kicked him out. 1282 01:25:02,803 --> 01:25:04,293 She kicked him out? 1283 01:25:04,371 --> 01:25:08,501 Richard Heywood doesn't seem to like the idea of employing 1284 01:25:08,576 --> 01:25:10,237 an ex-son-in-law. 1285 01:25:10,811 --> 01:25:13,837 So he's gone. So is Alison Olsen. 1286 01:25:14,915 --> 01:25:16,246 Don't worry about Maddox. 1287 01:25:16,317 --> 01:25:19,377 He's already lined up something with Gotham magazine. 1288 01:25:19,487 --> 01:25:23,685 I'm going to need somebody to hold the fort at "I Spy." 1289 01:25:24,258 --> 01:25:27,159 Strictly on a temporary basis, you understand. 1290 01:25:28,329 --> 01:25:29,489 One more thing. 1291 01:25:29,563 --> 01:25:32,555 I had a call from Eleanor Johnson this morning, 1292 01:25:32,666 --> 01:25:38,571 wanting to know if you would like to write a profile on Vincent Lepak. 1293 01:25:40,841 --> 01:25:44,038 I don't know how you did it, Sidney, but somehow 1294 01:25:44,111 --> 01:25:45,908 you've made it to the next room. 1295 01:25:47,681 --> 01:25:50,013 I caught my stride 1296 01:25:50,084 --> 01:25:52,575 I flew and flied 1297 01:25:52,920 --> 01:25:55,787 I know if destiny's kind 1298 01:25:55,856 --> 01:26:00,156 I've got the rest of my mind 1299 01:26:00,227 --> 01:26:03,253 Well, my heart it don't beat 1300 01:26:03,330 --> 01:26:07,130 It don't beat the way it used to 1301 01:26:07,201 --> 01:26:11,900 And my eyes, they don't see you no more 1302 01:26:13,174 --> 01:26:17,008 And my lips, they don't kiss 1303 01:26:17,077 --> 01:26:20,308 They don't kiss the way they used to 1304 01:26:20,414 --> 01:26:25,977 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1305 01:26:27,488 --> 01:26:31,185 For reasons unknown 1306 01:26:34,395 --> 01:26:38,024 For reasons unknown 1307 01:26:44,271 --> 01:26:47,638 With one deep breath 1308 01:26:47,708 --> 01:26:49,801 One big step 1309 01:26:49,877 --> 01:26:52,812 I move a little bit closer 1310 01:26:52,880 --> 01:26:56,179 I move a little bit closer 1311 01:26:57,551 --> 01:27:00,486 For reasons unknown 1312 01:27:07,094 --> 01:27:10,552 I said my heart, it don't beat 1313 01:27:10,631 --> 01:27:14,260 It don't beat the way it used to 1314 01:27:14,335 --> 01:27:19,363 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1315 01:27:20,774 --> 01:27:24,403 And my lips, they don't kiss 1316 01:27:24,478 --> 01:27:27,970 They don't kiss the way they used to 1317 01:27:28,082 --> 01:27:33,281 And my eyes don't recognize you no more 1318 01:27:43,831 --> 01:27:45,298 - Hi. - Hey. 1319 01:27:48,969 --> 01:27:51,836 Well, well, little Sidalee. 1320 01:27:56,710 --> 01:28:00,578 Listen, I can't stay. Anderson wants me to go to some photographer's exhibition. 1321 01:28:00,648 --> 01:28:03,048 Hot new talent. Blah, blah, blah. 1322 01:28:03,651 --> 01:28:05,016 How hot is she? 1323 01:28:05,085 --> 01:28:07,144 - Who? - The talent. 1324 01:28:13,661 --> 01:28:15,322 See you back home. 1325 01:28:16,163 --> 01:28:18,597 Could you stop carrying this book around? 1326 01:28:18,899 --> 01:28:20,924 It's kind of embarrassing. 1327 01:28:32,279 --> 01:28:33,746 - Hey. - Hey. 1328 01:28:35,516 --> 01:28:38,178 - Nice robe. - Oh, thanks. 1329 01:28:38,452 --> 01:28:40,283 Ralph Lauren. It was a gift. 1330 01:28:41,221 --> 01:28:42,415 Who from? 1331 01:28:42,790 --> 01:28:43,882 Ralph Lauren. 1332 01:28:43,957 --> 01:28:46,050 I was doing a piece and... 1333 01:28:46,794 --> 01:28:51,458 I wanted to say congratulations. I heard about your promotion. 1334 01:28:51,699 --> 01:28:54,725 - I'm really happy for you. - Well, yeah, thanks. 1335 01:28:55,235 --> 01:28:57,703 - How's things going with you? - Good. Fine. 1336 01:28:57,771 --> 01:29:01,707 Everything's... I'm working for this little literary magazine. 1337 01:29:01,975 --> 01:29:03,943 It's not The New Yorker, but... 1338 01:29:04,478 --> 01:29:06,946 So I left you a bunch of messages. 1339 01:29:07,047 --> 01:29:10,608 - Yeah, I know, I've been so busy. - Yeah. I thought so. 1340 01:29:13,053 --> 01:29:15,613 - Okay, well... - How's the novel going? 1341 01:29:16,657 --> 01:29:19,057 I... I'm still working on it. 1342 01:29:19,126 --> 01:29:22,095 Well, you should keep at it. I believe in you. 1343 01:29:23,063 --> 01:29:25,463 Actually, I never gave you these. 1344 01:29:29,770 --> 01:29:30,998 There you go. 1345 01:29:33,073 --> 01:29:36,736 It's just, you know... You don't have to use them if you don't want. 1346 01:29:37,911 --> 01:29:40,243 You know, don't even look at it. 1347 01:29:40,614 --> 01:29:42,411 - You know... - Sidney? 1348 01:29:45,152 --> 01:29:46,517 Hey, Alice. 1349 01:29:51,158 --> 01:29:53,353 Where did it all go so wrong? 1350 01:29:54,995 --> 01:29:56,087 Bye. 1351 01:30:05,606 --> 01:30:07,870 Sophie is going to get an Apollo Film Awards nomination 1352 01:30:09,009 --> 01:30:10,340 for Best Actress. 1353 01:30:10,444 --> 01:30:15,347 Wow! That's great. But the nominations haven't been announced yet. 1354 01:30:15,449 --> 01:30:17,041 That is correct. 1355 01:30:18,452 --> 01:30:21,444 Which is why we have absolutely no way of knowing 1356 01:30:21,522 --> 01:30:23,854 whether or not she will be nominated. 1357 01:30:23,957 --> 01:30:28,291 But when she is nominated, we would like Sharps to do a feature. 1358 01:30:28,362 --> 01:30:32,196 Someone to cover the whole lead-up. Unrestricted access. 1359 01:30:32,299 --> 01:30:36,702 The trajectory, the building of this unique brand. 1360 01:30:37,070 --> 01:30:39,061 I'm going to have a logo. 1361 01:30:39,873 --> 01:30:43,468 So, here's the deal. Sophie wants you to write the story. 1362 01:30:45,979 --> 01:30:47,469 You can be my bitch. 1363 01:30:49,149 --> 01:30:53,085 Merry Christmas, Sidney. This is a cover story. 1364 01:30:54,188 --> 01:30:57,021 I think a little celebration is in order. 1365 01:30:58,325 --> 01:30:59,656 Chin-chin. 1366 01:31:01,061 --> 01:31:05,293 Maybe we could make it all right 1367 01:31:07,367 --> 01:31:11,235 We could make it better sometime 1368 01:31:15,042 --> 01:31:19,445 Maybe we could make it happen baby 1369 01:31:22,549 --> 01:31:26,815 We could keep trying but things will never change 1370 01:31:26,887 --> 01:31:30,118 So I don't look back 1371 01:31:30,190 --> 01:31:34,354 Still I'm dying with every step I take 1372 01:31:34,428 --> 01:31:37,158 But I don't look back 1373 01:31:37,231 --> 01:31:42,134 We could keep trying but things will never change 1374 01:31:42,202 --> 01:31:44,670 So I don't look back 1375 01:31:47,074 --> 01:31:53,138 Dance the little devil, loverboy 1376 01:31:53,213 --> 01:31:55,909 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 1377 01:31:55,983 --> 01:32:00,147 I love what you do I love what you do 1378 01:32:00,220 --> 01:32:03,087 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 1379 01:32:03,824 --> 01:32:09,490 I'm your pinup You're my candy man 1380 01:32:10,030 --> 01:32:15,935 Sugarcoat me, baby when you can 1381 01:32:16,803 --> 01:32:22,833 First time perfect moment Fire and ice 1382 01:32:22,910 --> 01:32:26,243 Give, give, give, give me your love 1383 01:32:27,080 --> 01:32:29,207 Give me your love 1384 01:32:30,050 --> 01:32:33,713 Give, give, give, give me your love 1385 01:32:33,787 --> 01:32:36,187 Give me your love 1386 01:32:36,256 --> 01:32:39,919 Give, give, give, give me your love 1387 01:32:39,993 --> 01:32:42,962 Give me your love 1388 01:32:47,968 --> 01:32:49,993 It's 20 storeys up. 1389 01:32:52,339 --> 01:32:54,432 Sidney, you loser! You suck! 1390 01:32:54,508 --> 01:32:56,772 It's too high. 1391 01:32:56,843 --> 01:32:58,811 You can do it! Grow some balls, man. 1392 01:32:58,879 --> 01:32:59,937 Don't be a wimp. 1393 01:33:00,013 --> 01:33:01,947 - Come on! Come on. 1394 01:33:03,550 --> 01:33:05,211 Such a loser! 1395 01:33:05,319 --> 01:33:07,480 - You didn't do it! - It's high! 1396 01:33:07,554 --> 01:33:09,681 Oh, but you let me down. 1397 01:33:09,790 --> 01:33:12,384 You couldn't do it. It's bloody high. 1398 01:33:35,549 --> 01:33:37,881 - What are you? - Limpy pig. 1399 01:33:37,985 --> 01:33:40,419 - What? - I'm your little limpy pig. 1400 01:33:40,520 --> 01:33:44,684 That's right, limpy pig. And now it's time to pay a forfeit. 1401 01:33:45,692 --> 01:33:48,684 - What do you got? - I've got my little limpy pig dance. 1402 01:33:58,105 --> 01:33:59,766 Give me your ring. 1403 01:34:03,343 --> 01:34:04,708 I can't. 1404 01:34:05,278 --> 01:34:07,872 - Come on. - No, I can't. 1405 01:34:07,948 --> 01:34:10,849 - Give me your ring. I want it. - I can't. 1406 01:34:13,854 --> 01:34:15,048 Okay. 1407 01:34:15,122 --> 01:34:18,717 If you give me your ring, and I win tomorrow, 1408 01:34:20,293 --> 01:34:22,557 I'll let you have sex with me. 1409 01:34:40,247 --> 01:34:42,841 MAN ON TV.;... has left Rocky wondering where the others have gone. 1410 01:34:42,916 --> 01:34:45,407 His old anxieties about being left alone... 1411 01:34:45,519 --> 01:34:48,852 WOMAN 1 ON TV.; Now there's an easy way to remember everything. 1412 01:34:48,922 --> 01:34:51,186 WOMAN 2 ON TV.; Oh, thank you, Mike. 1413 01:34:51,258 --> 01:34:53,658 I'll buy you a better one, just as soon as I... 1414 01:34:53,727 --> 01:34:54,989 No, you won't. 1415 01:34:55,095 --> 01:34:57,495 I'm always going to keep this one. 1416 01:34:57,597 --> 01:34:59,360 I'll never part with it. 1417 01:34:59,433 --> 01:35:01,230 Never, never, never. 1418 01:35:07,240 --> 01:35:10,266 Let's do it properly. Please. 1419 01:35:39,372 --> 01:35:41,966 Ms. Maes. Over here. Smile! 1420 01:35:43,610 --> 01:35:45,237 Thank you, Sophie. 1421 01:35:49,282 --> 01:35:51,341 What people don't realize is that all saints start out 1422 01:35:51,418 --> 01:35:52,817 as human beings. 1423 01:35:52,919 --> 01:35:55,979 And all human beings fall in love at some point, right? 1424 01:35:56,089 --> 01:35:58,853 - Mother Teresa still has... - It's really important, sure. 1425 01:35:58,925 --> 01:36:00,415 Well, anyway... 1426 01:36:05,398 --> 01:36:07,889 Well, well. Look at you. 1427 01:36:09,503 --> 01:36:12,802 Made it all the way to the seventh room. Congratulations. 1428 01:36:12,906 --> 01:36:15,898 Wheel of fortune, right? You go up, I go down. 1429 01:36:16,910 --> 01:36:19,208 You here with Sophie? How about doing your old rabbi a favor 1430 01:36:19,279 --> 01:36:20,837 and putting in a good word for me? 1431 01:36:20,914 --> 01:36:22,506 - Need a little interview. - Is Alison here? 1432 01:36:22,582 --> 01:36:25,244 Alison? No. We went our separate ways. 1433 01:36:25,986 --> 01:36:27,248 Actually, she left me. 1434 01:36:27,320 --> 01:36:30,016 And tells me she's in love with someone else. 1435 01:36:31,158 --> 01:36:36,425 Nope. Not you, I'm afraid, Sidalee. Some guy named Clark. 1436 01:36:36,763 --> 01:36:40,164 Can you believe it? These are the sacrifices we make. 1437 01:36:40,834 --> 01:36:44,827 I don't need to tell you. This isn't a vacation, it's a vocation. 1438 01:36:45,138 --> 01:36:49,006 So, listen. About Sophie, need a little interview. It won't take long. 1439 01:36:56,116 --> 01:36:58,983 So, here I am at the center of everything. 1440 01:36:59,719 --> 01:37:03,177 I've got the tux, I've got the watch, I've got the life. 1441 01:37:03,490 --> 01:37:05,720 I am exactly where I wanted to be. 1442 01:37:09,062 --> 01:37:11,530 I've made it to Shangri-la. 1443 01:37:31,585 --> 01:37:32,745 I'm gonna have to have the ring back, okay? 1444 01:37:32,819 --> 01:37:33,843 What are you doing? 1445 01:37:33,920 --> 01:37:35,945 - I need you to give me the ring. - Get away from me. 1446 01:37:36,022 --> 01:37:37,489 - What are you doing? - Give me the ring back. 1447 01:37:37,557 --> 01:37:39,684 My mother gave me this ring, and she told me to give it to the one. 1448 01:37:39,759 --> 01:37:41,420 - She's not the one! - Have you lost your mind? 1449 01:37:41,494 --> 01:37:42,688 - No, just... Will you just... - Let me go. 1450 01:37:42,762 --> 01:37:45,322 I don't want to be on the inside! I don't want to be at the party! 1451 01:37:45,398 --> 01:37:47,457 I don't want to have sex with you! 1452 01:37:47,534 --> 01:37:49,092 I killed Cuba! 1453 01:37:59,412 --> 01:38:01,073 No. Hey! 1454 01:38:02,382 --> 01:38:05,249 Fucking, mother-fucking fucker! 1455 01:38:05,919 --> 01:38:07,011 God! 1456 01:38:07,621 --> 01:38:08,849 Stop it! 1457 01:38:08,922 --> 01:38:11,413 This is live! I don't care! 1458 01:38:12,392 --> 01:38:14,223 ANNOUNCER.; Well, this is a strange one. 1459 01:38:14,294 --> 01:38:17,058 We've certainly never seen anything quite like this before 1460 01:38:17,130 --> 01:38:19,121 at the Apollo Film Awards. 1461 01:38:22,602 --> 01:38:25,298 Sodom and Gomorrah! 1462 01:38:25,538 --> 01:38:26,800 I'm sorry! 1463 01:38:28,775 --> 01:38:30,970 ANNOUNCER.; I've just been informed that the young man involved 1464 01:38:31,044 --> 01:38:32,170 in the altercation 1465 01:38:32,245 --> 01:38:35,646 is Sidney Young, a reporter with Sharps magazine. 1466 01:38:42,289 --> 01:38:44,450 Take your hands off of me! 1467 01:38:44,557 --> 01:38:47,117 You are finished! You're finished! 1468 01:38:50,130 --> 01:38:51,961 - Hey, Vincent. - Sidney. 1469 01:38:57,170 --> 01:38:58,296 Fuck. 1470 01:39:37,310 --> 01:39:38,538 Have a nice flight. 1471 01:39:38,611 --> 01:39:40,806 I need a ticket to New York, please. 1472 01:39:44,985 --> 01:39:48,386 The next available flight isn't until tomorrow morning at 10:00. 1473 01:39:48,455 --> 01:39:51,151 It arrives in New York at 6:30 p.m. Iocal time. 1474 01:39:51,358 --> 01:39:53,223 There's nothing sooner? 1475 01:39:53,326 --> 01:39:56,056 - No, I'm afraid not. - Fine. I'll take it. 1476 01:39:57,297 --> 01:40:00,323 Hi, you've reached Alison. Please leave a message. 1477 01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:03,631 Oh, and Joe, if that's you, I got the tickets for Empire Park tomorrow. 1478 01:40:03,703 --> 01:40:05,694 I'll see you there. Bye. 1479 01:40:06,239 --> 01:40:07,604 Alison, it's me. It's Sidney. 1480 01:40:07,674 --> 01:40:10,472 Listen, my battery is very low, and I wanted to... 1481 01:40:10,877 --> 01:40:12,845 Can I see you? I just... 1482 01:40:12,912 --> 01:40:15,346 I don't think I'm going to be working for Sharps anymore, okay? 1483 01:40:15,415 --> 01:40:18,543 But it's fine. Because I thought I wanted all that stuff. 1484 01:40:18,752 --> 01:40:20,447 I thought I wanted to be special and have the money 1485 01:40:20,520 --> 01:40:22,750 and be treated differently to everybody else. 1486 01:40:22,822 --> 01:40:24,551 Can I get an upgrade? 1487 01:40:24,891 --> 01:40:27,416 But I don't, okay? And... Who's Joe? 1488 01:40:43,843 --> 01:40:45,936 Could I get your autograph? 1489 01:40:46,579 --> 01:40:48,410 What? 'Cause I'm on the TV? 1490 01:40:48,515 --> 01:40:50,949 'Cause I'm up there close to the movie stars? 1491 01:40:51,017 --> 01:40:52,211 'Cause you think I'm special? 1492 01:40:52,285 --> 01:40:54,082 For your credit card? 1493 01:40:56,189 --> 01:40:57,247 Yes. 1494 01:40:59,759 --> 01:41:01,727 Do you have any baggage? 1495 01:41:02,262 --> 01:41:03,422 Plenty. 1496 01:41:15,542 --> 01:41:21,139 What makes gold look like rust 1497 01:41:21,214 --> 01:41:26,345 What turns diamonds into dust 1498 01:41:26,419 --> 01:41:31,254 Like oxygen to you and me 1499 01:41:31,891 --> 01:41:37,295 We need it more than the air we breathe 1500 01:41:38,164 --> 01:41:41,156 Too much push and shove 1501 01:41:41,234 --> 01:41:46,968 Without enough love to go round 1502 01:41:48,641 --> 01:41:52,202 There must be enough love 1503 01:41:52,278 --> 01:41:54,075 To go round the world 1504 01:41:54,147 --> 01:41:57,810 There must be enough love 1505 01:41:57,884 --> 01:42:00,011 To go round the world 1506 01:42:00,086 --> 01:42:03,055 There must be enough love 1507 01:42:03,123 --> 01:42:04,590 To go round the world 1508 01:42:04,657 --> 01:42:06,852 Stop the car. Stop the car! Stop the car! 1509 01:42:06,926 --> 01:42:12,523 There must be enough love, love, love 1510 01:42:16,369 --> 01:42:20,328 There must be enough love 1511 01:42:20,406 --> 01:42:22,397 To go round the world 1512 01:42:22,475 --> 01:42:26,309 There must be enough love 1513 01:42:26,379 --> 01:42:28,313 To go round the world 1514 01:42:28,381 --> 01:42:32,078 There must be enough love 1515 01:42:59,979 --> 01:43:01,037 Hi. 1516 01:43:03,149 --> 01:43:04,173 Hi. 1517 01:43:07,654 --> 01:43:09,884 How's the novel coming along? 1518 01:43:12,559 --> 01:43:14,049 It's finished. 1519 01:43:17,697 --> 01:43:19,562 Thanks for the ending. 1520 01:44:36,509 --> 01:44:37,806 Oh, fuck! 1521 01:44:42,048 --> 01:44:43,777 Girl, you really got me goin' 1522 01:44:43,850 --> 01:44:47,377 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' 1523 01:44:48,721 --> 01:44:50,780 Yeah, you really got me now 1524 01:44:50,857 --> 01:44:53,519 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1525 01:44:54,794 --> 01:44:57,627 Yeah, you really got me now 1526 01:44:57,697 --> 01:45:01,531 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now 1527 01:45:01,601 --> 01:45:04,661 Oh yeah, you really got me now 1528 01:45:04,737 --> 01:45:06,932 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1529 01:45:07,006 --> 01:45:10,032 You really got me You really got me 1530 01:45:10,109 --> 01:45:11,804 You really got me 1531 01:45:15,481 --> 01:45:18,746 See, don't ever set me free 1532 01:45:18,818 --> 01:45:22,345 I always wanna be by your side 1533 01:45:22,655 --> 01:45:25,681 Girl, you really got me now 1534 01:45:25,758 --> 01:45:29,194 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1535 01:45:29,595 --> 01:45:32,621 Yeah, you really got me now 1536 01:45:32,699 --> 01:45:36,157 You got me so I don't know what I'm doin', now 1537 01:45:36,235 --> 01:45:39,398 Oh yeah, you really got me now 1538 01:45:39,472 --> 01:45:41,736 You got me so I can't sleep at night 1539 01:45:41,808 --> 01:45:44,834 You really got me You really got me 1540 01:45:44,911 --> 01:45:46,640 You really got me 1541 01:45:53,019 --> 01:45:56,147 Mother Superior? This is Agnes from the Ottoman Empire. 1542 01:45:56,222 --> 01:45:59,191 ANNOUNCER.; Sometimes, before you can find belief, 1543 01:46:00,526 --> 01:46:03,586 you have to find someone who will believe in you. 1544 01:46:03,696 --> 01:46:07,325 WOMAN.; They say you traveled alone. You came by train? 1545 01:46:07,400 --> 01:46:08,594 AGNES.; By foot. 1546 01:46:08,701 --> 01:46:11,727 That is not a suitable way for a young lady to travel. 1547 01:46:12,238 --> 01:46:14,103 It is how the poor must travel. 1548 01:46:14,173 --> 01:46:16,937 ANNOUNCER.; Sometimes, what is so wrong... 1549 01:46:17,043 --> 01:46:18,203 You left this. 1550 01:46:18,277 --> 01:46:20,677 ANNOUNCER.;... can feel so right. 1551 01:46:20,747 --> 01:46:21,839 Stop it! 1552 01:46:21,914 --> 01:46:24,007 WOMAN.; You've given yourself to Christ. 1553 01:46:24,083 --> 01:46:27,780 But I love him. How can it be wrong? 1554 01:46:29,055 --> 01:46:30,113 Why? 1555 01:46:30,223 --> 01:46:33,215 - I was told to come here. - Who told you? 1556 01:46:36,229 --> 01:46:37,287 God. 1557 01:46:37,897 --> 01:46:41,424 WOMAN.; The faith is strong in this one. 1558 01:46:41,534 --> 01:46:43,866 AGNES.; I believe in love. That is all we have, 1559 01:46:43,936 --> 01:46:46,734 and we must give it wherever it is most needed. 1560 01:46:46,806 --> 01:46:47,932 Calcutta. 1561 01:46:48,040 --> 01:46:52,704 ANNOUNCER.; Sometimes, before you can find God, you have to find yourself. 1562 01:46:52,779 --> 01:46:55,304 Stand up, Mother Teresa. 1563 01:46:55,415 --> 01:46:59,545 ANNOUNCER.; In a world where passion is forbidden and belief is divine, 1564 01:46:59,619 --> 01:47:01,644 one woman achieved everything 1565 01:47:01,754 --> 01:47:04,484 by helping those who had nothing. 1566 01:47:05,591 --> 01:47:09,152 Sir Ben Queensley, Dame Peggy Aitken, 1567 01:47:09,262 --> 01:47:12,493 Tod Rivera, and introducing Sophie Maes. 1568 01:47:12,598 --> 01:47:14,657 Teresa, The Making of a Saint. 1569 01:47:16,135 --> 01:47:18,103 A Mel Cohen Film. Rated NC-17. 1570 01:47:19,405 --> 01:47:21,396 Get over it 1571 01:47:25,511 --> 01:47:27,035 Get over it 1572 01:47:33,319 --> 01:47:38,222 D'you want my side, my side of the story 1573 01:47:40,126 --> 01:47:45,063 D'you want my side, my side of the story 1574 01:47:47,033 --> 01:47:52,198 Well, I want you, want you like I'm eighteen 1575 01:47:53,272 --> 01:47:58,676 But I'm tied, tied to my baby 1576 01:47:58,744 --> 01:48:02,475 To my baby Oh! 1577 01:48:15,962 --> 01:48:21,161 What hurts but feels so fine 1578 01:48:21,634 --> 01:48:26,765 What turns water into wine 1579 01:48:26,839 --> 01:48:31,333 It runs so deep in you and me 1580 01:48:31,410 --> 01:48:38,009 From a fountain to a river to the seven seas 1581 01:48:38,084 --> 01:48:41,986 Too much push and shove 1582 01:48:42,054 --> 01:48:45,888 With not enough love to go round 1583 01:48:45,958 --> 01:48:49,359 I finally found 1584 01:48:49,428 --> 01:48:52,625 There must be enough love 1585 01:48:52,698 --> 01:48:54,689 To go round the world 1586 01:48:54,767 --> 01:48:58,464 There must be enough love 1587 01:48:58,538 --> 01:49:00,529 To go round the world 1588 01:49:00,606 --> 01:49:04,098 There must be enough love 1589 01:49:04,176 --> 01:49:06,007 To go round the world 1590 01:49:06,078 --> 01:49:12,881 There must be enough love, love, love 1591 01:49:22,261 --> 01:49:27,221 Woohoo